Über Desi

Keeping it real, desi ishtyle

Cheeee…We are Sri Lankans no!!!!

TAGS: None

Thus began a conversation that started with from “hey chica you want some coffee?” to my mom lecturing me on the nuances of chatting with any Lankan girl in marriageable, non-marriageable or any other damn age and the dangers that follow such chats!

It was a night which made me realize that living among the lankans had special rules and regulations one had to follow in order to survive or else… A good friend of my mother blasted into our house and gave quite a lecture on my behavior towards her daughter to my mom and stormed out within a span of 30 minutes. “Ayo us lankans should not act this way no!!” To this my mother responded, “Now what did my son do again????”
This momentous event occurred about a month after I moved to the DC area. According to her, us Sri Lankans should not be treating other Sri Lankans “this” way!!!

So what did I do? Well I invited a friend, who is a female of marriageable age, to coffee with some other friends. We had Chit chat session, laugh and have a beer. This was in NO WAY a date (please observe the block capitals). Lo and behold this general random meeting turned into a whole new story that included


1. Sleeping with her
2. Trying to marry her
3. Actually persuading her far further than I should
4. I am too old for her

Read the rest of this entry »

Looks like you are one of our regular visitors. Here is our RSS feed, just another way to keep up with the new posts.

Welcome to Lil’ Lanka

TAGS: None

I have always heard about the other Lanka in North America, where malls are full of Lankans and every corner of the street is made up of Lankan stores. As a lover of all road trips, I decided to visit this town of many Sarong wearing, lungi bearing lankans. Well there was the additional incentive of meeting my cousins after years, which gave reason to make the drive.

The first place I wanted to see or visit was the “Hopper Hut”. Rightly named after the famous Sri Lankan Hopper, which slightly is a mix between the American Pancake and the French Crepe. But then there is the famous “egg hopper”. Which includes an egg in the middle. Mix some good chicken curry and ooh you will be treating your mouth to Caribbean carnival. The hopper hut provides authentic Lankan dishes found only in Sri Lanka and some even better. From the spicy chicken curry to the falouda drink that sweetens anyones pallet.

The road trip began with mom falling asleep within the first 10 minutes. However after a lengthy 5 hour drive I got the call from my aunt.

“Baba what do you want to eat”, she said as customary for aunties to say. The Lankan way is to make sure the food part is set up even before you get close to the destination. It is absolutely unacceptable not to think of food on a trip or for visitors. Sometimes I wonder if my island nation would ever survive the likes of a potato famine.

“What putha (son) you want to go to the hopper hut the first day itself?” to which I said a definite yes. Then came the surprise. Rules to adhere to while we are there “ok then tell your mama not to speak in Sinahalese ok!!

WHAT!!! The reaction was immediate. To me this was something very foreign. I am going to a Lankan diner in a foreign country and cannot speak in Sinhala. I want to eat the food with my fingers and curse at the food in my language. But nobody had actually stressed the fact of refraining from the mother tongue. Yes it was the first step of multiple shocking events that I was going to experience that weekend. And of course when I got out of the car, my young cousin smirked and said “Welcome to Toronto!!”.

Scarborough is a suburb of Toronto. I believe the small burb has two types of rules and regulations. One for the regular Canadian and the other for the Lankans. There is the Lankan gangs (Scartigers, the scarthambi’s are some of the local names for gangs), the lankan street signs and separate lankan names for streets, the Lankan food shops, and the Lankan newspapers, the separate Lankan tax system and of course the lankan authority (yea I mean the police). Majority of the residents come from the north part of Sri Lanka. According to a CBC special report, “At more than 150,000 people, Toronto’s Tamils are the largest urban community of Tamils in the world.”

But no matter what facts one reads, see in the news, or hear from people, to actually go into Scarborough and read every sign above the stores in strip malls to corner shops in Tamil is an experience that takes one back. Why? Well one does not expect that much influence from a minority population of a country that is one of the smallest in the world in the cold north of America!

The Canadian Tamils of Sri Lankan origin (“Tamils”) are one of the fastest growing visible minority groups in the Greater Toronto Area. Canada is now home to more than 250, 000 Tamils, of which approximately 200, 000 live in the GTA. TamilCanadian

The trip to hopper hut was an eye opener. A humbling experience where for the first time I was faced with what the north of Sri Lanka see everyday. At the front of one of the stores was a long window shade with the Tamil Eelam map.

The Tamil Eelam Map.
The Tamil Eelam map.
Image from TamilCanadian.com

The map has only the sides of Sri Lanka but not the middle part. It is all in red and defined as the Eelam nation. I finally realized how much work there is ahead in the peace process by just looking at the map. Here I am in Canada staring at a Sri Lanka that was cut in half. The tear drop state that I knew was completely different to these lankans in Scarborough.

Finally we reached the Hopper Hut. The apprehension felt by us through the drive immediately vanished as soon as the smell of Chicken curry, mixed in pol sambol and Biryani wafted into our senses. I entered the restaurant and was excited to see some pittu, hopper and a beef rendang in the menu. And once my mom sat down all the warnings of not Sinhala was gone, because when it comes to food, ethnicity does not matter. After all a good meal of Chicken biryani, mixed with a spicy pol sambol with some cutlets and a good tasting Faluda erased any kind of division on the map or otherwise. The waiter was happy to take the order, even though some Sinahalese was uttered because he just saw the excitement in my mom’s eyes. I realized no matter what politics people shout and scream about, at the end of the day when all the Lankans sit down for a meal, the good pol sambol will do the job the professional peacemakers have been trying to do for years.

Keep on walking – Lankan Story

TAGS: None

It is common for anybody to look at the desi community and spot your usual doctors, lawyers and other well to do folks. And it is common to see the regular desi driving the BM or a brand new Mercedes. However the reality on the street especially in the North East United States is very different. We do see the well off desi walking in his Calvin Klein suite. However this is not about that South Asian. This story has to do with the struggle majority of the Sri Lankans in DC metro area go through on a daily basis. The sacrifices they make to be here, and the never-ending question “is this all worth it”.

Monday evening at dinner in my mothers friends house, the usual ritual begins with auntie Sudha talking on the phone to Lanka at exactly 8 p.m. After the conversation she is sad. She has not been to Sri Lanka in 17 years and the last time she saw her daughter was 17 years ago. The kid she left in Lanka is now a woman. And the mother only communicates and knows her daughter through a phone line. She cannot go home, because she will not be able to come back and her daughter cannot get a visa to come here, because the mother is in the U.S. There is always hope that some day an amnesty bill will pass so she can travel outside the country. She works as a maid cleaning wealthy peoples houses and lives in a bedroom rented to her by another Lankan family.

Read the rest of this entry »

Lankan Travel Diaries

TAGS: None

Mexico City, Summer of 2002.

Mexicio City Immigration officer: “Welcome senor to Mexico”

Partially sober Roy from a long night prior to taking off from Orlando “Gracias”

Immigration officer “Can I see your passport, are you here for pleasure or business”

Partially sober Roy “I am here to visit my friend”

Immigration officer “aaah you are from….”

Partially Sober Roy ” Sri Lanka… (the officer looks blank)…near India”

Immigration officer “aaah Iiiiindhia..long way from home senor”

Half sober Roy “yes”

Officer has tried to scan the passport twice while we were chatting but apparently nothing is registering. He gets his fat book out of the side of the table and starts flipping through the pages. The fat book has a lot of passport pictures.

Immigration officer, “Senor is there another name for your country”

Still Partially sober Roy, ” huh!!! umm nope”

Immigration officer, “Senor your country does not exist!”

Read the rest of this entry »

End of Innocence: 1983 – The Lankan Diaries

TAGS: None

It was July 24th 1983, I had to see a doctor at the Colombo general hospital. The trip was an exciting one for a 9 year old child. It was filled with a train ride, the “power set”, through all my favorite towns, eating out in Colombo and watching the country slowly pass by. I got up at 5:30 a.m. excited about the ride and as always we were at the Borralasse station around 6 a.m. I took my traditional piss on the tracks, my mother screaming to behave in public. The train came, I got in, not realizing that this day will be in the history journals of Sri Lanka as the date our Island changed forever.

Ask any Sri Lankan living in any corner of the world where they were on July 24th 1983 and they will remember exactly what they were doing the moment our small Island combusted into a smoldering anarchy. This is my story, how I remember it and what I witnessed as a 9 year. I am sure many Lankans will have similar stories and even more horrendous ones, because I just count myself as lucky to be able to pronounce “Baldiya” properly in Sinhalese. Two thousand Tamils were not that lucky.

Read the rest of this entry »

© 2009 Über Desi. All Rights Reserved.

This blog is powered by Wordpress and Magatheme by Bryan Helmig.