The new year seems to have started off with a bang for brown people in America. First a UPS driver labels an elderly Sikh gentleman a terrorist.

Next up, an entire Muslim family of Indian origin was offloaded from an AirTran flight from Washington to Orlando, for “suspicious” remarks. [SMH]

Here’s the passengers’ side of the story:

Kashif Irfan, 34, said his younger brother Atif and his brother’s wife “were remarking about safety” when they were overheard.
“My brother and his wife were discussing some aspect of airport security,” he told the Post. “The only thing my brother said was, ‘Wow, the jets are right next to my window.”

Here’s AirTran’s side of the story:

An airline spokesman, Tad Hutcheson, defended AirTran’s handling of the situation.
“At the end of the day, people got on and made comments they shouldn’t have made on the airplane,” he was quoted as saying.
“Other people heard them, misconstrued them. It just so happened these people were of Muslim faith and appearance,” Hutcheson added. “It escalated, it got out of hand and everyone took precautions.”

All passengers were offloaded and their luggages researched. It is at this point that AirTran’s treatment of this family of nine, including children, turns hostile. The family was not allowed to travel on that flight and AirTran refused to book them on a different airline also.

The pilot postponed the flight, and federal officials ordered all 104 passengers off the plane to re-screen them and their luggage before allowing the flight to go to Orlando, two hours late and without the nine passengers.

The airline and FBI characterised the incident as a misunderstanding, but AirTran reportedly refused to rebook the passengers, who paid for seats on another carrier.

The desi connection, TOI claims that the family was of Indian origin. AirTran has since backed down from it aggressive stance and apologized to the family and offered to fly them for free. [TOI]

I tried to do some research on the nature of the remarks and whether they were severe enough to warrant this treatment and this is what I came up with. [Yahoo]

Irfan said when he boarded the flight Thursday, he mentioned something to his wife and sister-in-law about having to sit in the back. His sister-in-law replied that she believed the back of the airplane was the safest, but Irfan believed it was better to be by the wings.
“She said, ‘Yes, I guess it makes sense not to be close to the engine in case something happens,’” Irfan recalled Friday. “It was a very benign conversation.”

A popular Hollywood flick from about a decade ago has Gene Hackman playing a former security expert who claims that the NSA records your telephone calls anytime you use certain buzz words. Whether the NSA does so, is debatable, but we now know for sure that average citizens certainly do so. Obviously, some fellow passengers heard the words, “plane”, “engine” and “safety”, and jumped to the wrong conclusions. It has to be brought up that it is not uncommon to overhear conversations of fellow passengers, especially ones with children, complaining of airport security being a hassle and also fellow passengers with flying phobias discussing it with their friends and families.

Being of Indian origin obviously their skin tones were a certain shade of brown and being traditional Muslims, the men sported beards and the women head scarfs. Whether the appearances of the party concerned, had anything to with them being reported as suspicious and their shoddy treatment at the hands of AirTran even after FBI cleared them, you decide.

The Fall directed and (partially) written by Tarsem Singh (The Cell) proves one thing, Tarsem can direct one heck of a cinematographic masterpiece, but needs to stay away from tinkering with the storyline.

The Fall is a visual masterpiece with a haphazard storyline.

The story starts with Alexandria, a 5 year-old daughter of Romanian immigrants, meeting an injured stuntman, Roy, in a hospital set in 1920s Los Angeles. Roy has not only been temporarily paralyzed but is also dealing with a myriad of personal issues and quickly spiraling down a dangerous path, hence “The Fall”. Roy regales Alexandria with a story of 5 bandits - a motley crew consisting of a former African slave, an Indian, an one-legged explosives expert, a masked bandit and an English naturalist, all of whom share a common goal - to kill an evil Governor Odius. Between the tortured musings of Roy and the vivid imagination of Alexandria ensues a fairy tale for grown ups, the characters and props for which are drawn from Alexandria’s real life, not much unlike The Wizard of Oz. With a 5 year old girl instead of that naive nymphet Dorothy, a host of deficient heroic characters, a common quest, castles, sweeping landscapes, magic and the works, “The Fall” has it similarities to “The Wizard of Oz”, a Crique du Soleil rendition of the Oz story, that is, with the director probably tripping on ’shrooms.

What ensues is Tarsem’s trademark smorgasbord of stunning visuals and mind blowing locales. Besides Jeetu Verma’s character of the Indian swordsman, there is plenty of references to India including quality time at the Taj Lake Palace in Udaipur and the Taj Mahal. So I would absolutely recommend this movie to our readers, correct?

Not so fast, my friend. There is a major drawback to this uber tribute to cinematography - the storyline of the movie. Bouncing back and forth between Roy, Alexandria, the real world and the make believe world of the 5 bandits and their tale of love and revenge, the transition is often jerky, if not downright annoying. The storyline lacks a certain coherence required to hold the attention of the viewer. Granted some of this could be attributed to catering to a make believe fantasy story and the wild imagination of a 5 year old, there are also other aspects the movie could done better in - dialogs and acting. It appears that at some stage, Tarsem has tried to tailor the story to the cinematography, and it shows.

After reading various reviews, when I “Netflixed” this movie, I wanted to like it. At the end of a better part of two hours, the word to best describe my feeling towards this movie is “indifference”. As blown away I was by the visuals, sweeping locations and cinematography, I was equally disappointed with the haphazard storyline, sub par acting and the weak dialog writing. So would I recommend this movie to our readers? Let me put this way, watch it for its visual treats and expect nothing else. As famous movie critic, Roger Ebert, so succinctly states “You might want to see for no other reason than because it exists. There will never be another like it”.

… a terrorist. [link]

What can brown do for you?
Call you a terrorist if you’re brown and wear a turban.

UPS: The new face of terrorism - elderly uncles
img: via turnto23.com

Happy 2009. The good news is it’s a brand new year. The bad news is that apparently bigots from years past are still alive and delivering packages.

Ever received a package and try to pronounce your very South Asian sounding name to the delivery guy? Well, chances are they screwed up the spelling or even better, labeled you a terrorist.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A UPS driver wrote “terrorist” as the signed name for a delivered package, according to the UPS Web site.

Blbar Singh, a Sikh, signed for the package that was delivered to his son’s house.

The family was looking on the UPS Web site for their second package that had not yet come, when they stumbled across the “signed by” section of the package screen.

They found that it was labeled “terrorist.”

When the offended family complained to UPS, they went into CYA mode.

UPS recently changed the “signed by” name on their Web site from terrorist to Singh.

A UPS spokesperson said that they hire several people to assist during the holiday season and is currently in the process of investigating this matter.

Here’s a screenshot of the original tracking page with the “signed by” section clearly showing “terrorist” not Singh.

Alright , kids! You know that you have been waiting with bated breath for the UberDesi exclusive 2008 kings and dings awards. Thats right - like always, your intrepid Uberdesi bloggers wade through the most excruciating minutiae of daily life to present : The UberDesi 2008 awards

UberChef: unanimously goes to Radhika Desai for making Indian inspired cuisine look good and upping the desi pulchritude quotient of Top Chef 100%, joining Top chef host the beautiful Padma Lakshmi.

UberUbiquitous Guru : This one had competition between Dr.Deepak Chopra and Dr.Rajan Zed. Dr.Zed wins for being EVERYWHERE including on cnn , protesting the Love Guru, dispensing unsolicited advice, promising to set up counseling for Hindu students, offering to convert Madonna ,praying at various venues and indulging in smackdowns with other Gurus.

UberHeroes: All the police, military personnel, civilians and hotel staff ( especially Taj) who died in the Mumbai attacks

UberDamp Squib: For being a complete flop after all the desperate publicity , The Love Guru. Mike Myers: You know what they say about Karma!

UberFraud: His Holiness the exalted one and only grand Panjandrum Commander Commander Sri -to - the -power - of -n Doctor Annamalai Annamalai Selvam . His misdeeds have been documented on UD and elsewhere.

UberHot shot: Sendhil Ramamurthy for proving that desi dudes are hot. Even if he hadn’t looked good throughout his stint on heroes, I think he deserves the award just for for his (in) famous nekkid butt shot on the current season of Heroes

UberStar: Freida Pinto of Slumdog Millionaire for being noticed globally - and in her first ever feature film !

UberSportsman: Abhinav Bindra for ending the Indian Olympic gold medal drought of decades and bringing home a gold medal.

UberFeelGood Story: Dinesh and Rinku aka Million Dollar Babas who were also close runners -up for UberSportsmen of the year

and finally :

UberDesi 2008 : Ratan Tata who took the autoworld by storm with the release of the world’s cheapest car Nano. He then took over Jaguar and Land Rover and won over their recalcitrant dealers. And for his courage and refusal to give up in the face of the Mumbai tragedy and the showdown with Mamta Banerjee over the Bengal Tata plant.

Note: This list has been compiled after all the bloggers on this site contributed so don’t be sending me no hate mail . Do Let us know if there is someone you would like to see on the list and tell us why.

Businessmen from India or of Indian origin were some of the hardest hit by the current economic slowdown: [Yahoo]

Not much to smile about for Anil Ambani
img: via yahoo

Anil Ambani tops the list at $30 billion lost in net worth. Anil was worth $42 billion in March. Current worth? $12 billion which means he lost close to 70% of his net worth from March.

Lakshmi Mittal, the Ambani brothers and real estate mogul K.P.Singh were among the top 10 billionaires at the beginning of this year and have lost a combined $100 billion. Compared to that America’s top 25 billionaires have combined for a $167 billion loss.

Others who suffered a significant loss include Anurag Dikshit, online gambling mogul. Besides losing around 40% of his net worth, Dikshit is also in deep sh… trouble with the law in the United States - he pleaded guilty to violating online gambling laws in the US and faces a $300 million fine and possible prison sentence.

Overall not a good end to the year for desi billionaires.

July:
Jindal continues refusing offers to be McCain’s VP and Über Desi’s Paranormal Phenomenon Executive.

Ramu, a langur is adopted by a family in India. What can we say? We love macacas.

Ratan Tata visits the US and wins over reluctant Jaguar and Land Rover car dealership owners.

A 70 year old in India gets knocked up.

Kachrawalis (female scavengers) from India take to the ramps in NYC. Über Desi hatches plan for a reality show titled “America’s next top dabbawallah”. Shelves plans for lack of sponsors in a receding economy.

Über Desi visits the SAJA 2008 convention in NYC.

In the most unusual marriage of environmental awareness and cleanliness, people in Tamil Nadu are actually paid to do their daily bathroom rituals. Über Desi hatches the idea of selling deluxe lotas to these people.

Captain of India’s cricket team, M.S. Dhoni, gets female bodyguards to protect himself from female fans, earning these bodyguards the moniker “Dhoni’s angels”.

Indians in the US start to feel the pinch of high gas prices and a slowing economy and respond by cutting down on Basmati rice.

Grooms in India parachute into the wedding avenue. Potential Über Desi grooms refuse to do the same for fear of exposure in their veshtis.

India and Pakistan brawl in a hockey game setting the tone for the politicians to do the same later in the year.

Pakistan stock market nosedives. Savvy investors respond by rioting.

Michael Schumacher’s spiritual adviser makes a comeback to F1 racing. Turns out to be desi. F1 enthusiasts at Über Desi almost die of joy.

UPA government wins a trust vote amid vote-for-money accusations. Politicians get a taste of their own medicine. Manmohan Singh flashes a “V” sign.

Blasts in Bangalore are followed by more in Ahmedabad. Scores killed, finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high.

Raj Bhavsar, makes the US Olympic team against all odds.

Snoop Doggy Dogg raps in desi music video. Is denied Indian visa because of former police record.

Popular application, Scrabulous, gets pulled on Facebook. Enterprising desi creators, rename it, switch a few aspects and reincarnate Scrabulous as Wordscape.

August:
August starts off with a bang as an American director announces plans for an ichchadari snake movie.

Rajan Zed agrees for an interview with Über Desi and then backs out when he receives the list of questions. We must be doing something right, after all.

Sanjay Jha becomes CEO of Motorola. The Razr still sucks.

India stumbles out of the gate at the Beijing games with a shoddy showing at the opening ceremony.

Abhinav Bhindra becomes first Indian to win an Olympic gold, ever, earning him instant celebrity status. Gets cheek pinched by Indian President Prathiba Patil.

Raj Bhavsar helps the US Olympics team to a bronze medal with a consistent anchoring performance resulting in an increased number of searches for his nude pictures on this blog.

Kerala-born actor Shelley Malil catches ex-girl friend with another man. Driven to rage by jealousy and insecurity, he allegedly assaults her with a knife and ends on the wrong side of the prison bars.

The lucrative wombs-for-rent system receives bad press when a Japanese man is denied access to his baby after divorcing his wife.

Indian boxers win bronze almost doubling the entire all time non-hockey medal hauls for India.

Obama picks Joe “7 Eleven” Biden as running mate. McCain picks a relatively unknown Sarah Palin as running mate. Because of previous encyclopedic information documenting Palin’s looks, the world turns to Über Desi, as opposed to Wikipedia. Our cheap servers are unable to take the traffic and crash and burn. Über Desi is down for nearly a week. Thank you, come again.

A teenaged boy in India kills a girl. The media holds an iPod responsible. The iPhone 3G launches in India. No exponential increase in murder rates. Media bumfuzzled.

Popular sportswriter Aditi Kinkhabwala answers questions exclusively for Über Desi’s readers.

September:
Off to a bad start in September. Sarah Palin has crashed Über Desi’s servers and she was just picked as running mate for John McCain.

Über Desi attends a screening of the Loins of Punjab.

An idol of Nataraj turns up at CERN whose Large Hadron Collider experiment is rumored will bring about the end of the world. As true desis, we refuse to subscribe to those rumors as the world vonly ends for us when Rajnikant dies in a movie.

Bomb blasts in Delhi kill dozens. Finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high.

Google, Microsoft and Yahoo portals in India are criticized for displaying ads that promote gender-selection products in India. They respond by replacing those ads with viagara and porn sites ads.

Dismissed employees at a MNC in Delhi beat their Italian CEO to death. Labor minister of India in filmi ishtyle declares that the rich guy had it coming.

Zardari flirts with Palin, in the manner of a desi uncle flirting with a Hooters waitress. Clerics declare a fatwa on Zardari.

Über Desi represents on a SAJA webcast on the South Asian blogosphere.

October:
India-US nuclear deal goes through. Bush still pronounces it as nyoo-cee-lar. Random uncles and desi grad students erupt in spontaneous joy, even though they’re not quite sure why.

The US government starts bailing out every-failing-business-who-reached-this-stage-because-of-bad-business-practices. Über Desi debates applying for a bailout just for fun.

Emperor …. err… Treasury Secretary Hank Paulsen appoint protege Darth … err…. Neel Kashkari, to oversee the $700 billion bailout plan. The enormity of the situation weighs on Kashkari and makes him go bald.

India launches Chandraayan, it’s moon rover. Chandraayan discovers a Nair tea stall and Patel motel on the moon’s surface.

McCain and Obama spar with each other in the most boring debates ever.

Bikini killer Charles Shobraj weds a 20 year old Nepali girl, who proves the old adage “Love is blind” true.

Chennai born Arvind Adiga wins Man Booker prize.

The Times reports that Amitabh Bachchan has passed stool.

Benny Lava stumps for McCain-Palin.

Assam is rocked by bomb blasts. Finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high.

Laid-off desis turn on their families in San Fernando, California and Detroit, Michigan.

November:
Heidi Klum dresses as Kali, Seal as Angulimala, Rajan Zed as himself and protests the former’ costumes.

Obama becomes first non-white guy President of Amrika. Desi uncles and grad students are ecstatic because Obama being President is “good for India”. Not quite sure how or why, but there you have it “Obama is good for India”. Demand for coconuts at temples reaches an all-time high.

Über Desi bloggers predict the vote tally almost down to the exact numbers. Note: Über Desi might have future in horoscope readings and gambling.

Rumors swirl that Sonal Shah, an alleged Hindoo operative might be appointed to a high post in the Obama administration.

Über Desi runs an expose on the gay takeover of Bollywood.

Saravana Bhavan manager is arrested in Chennai on charges of human trafficking to the US. Über Desi condemn the guilty over copious amounts of idli sambhar and kaapi at the nearest Saravana Bhavan.

His Holiness Jedi Master Grand Poobah Jahanpanah Dr. Mr. Shri. Lt. Col (Retd) Darth Commander Selvam Annamalai Annamalai is accused of scamming superstitious idiots. We argue that such idiots deserve to be scammed.

Vikram Pandit’s Citibank runs into the recession buzzsaw and ends up cutting over 50,000 people. Neel Kashkari bails Vikram Pandit out.

Indian javelin throwers turned baseball pitchers sign with MLB team. Desi uncles and grad students are ecstatic because this is “good for India”.

An estranged desi husband shoots his wife and two others in a church in New Jersey after traveling there from California and gets arrested in Georgia.

Mumbai is attacked and held hostage for almost 60 hours by a group for gunmen. Finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high. Indian government blames Pakistan. Pakistan cites lack of proof and blames Indian government. 173 people are killed and more are injured.

December:
Public anger is at an all-time high. The Indian public blames everyone but themselves and their apathy for the current state of affairs. Finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high. Indian government blames Pakistan. Pakistan cites lack of proof and blames Indian government.

Rakhi Sawant states she would’ve seduced terrorists and ended the hostage situation. Über Desi approves of a plan to take her up on the offer next time around. Every writer of note and their dog writes opinion pieces on the Mumbai attacks.

AP releases a story of shooting at the Delhi airport and retracts it. Indian media takes a beating over it’s haphazard and unprofessional coverage of the Mumbai attacks.

Iraqi reporter tosses a shoe at Bush and becomes an instant icon in the Arab world and among Bush haters everywhere else. Egyptian man offers daughter in marriage to shoe tosser. Entrepreneurial Indian geeks start ShoeTosserShaadi.com website.

Sheikh Hasina Khalida Zia Does it matter since they’re basically the same person? wins the elections in Bangladesh and flashes a “V” sign.

January:
On January 14th 2008, Bobby Jindal was inaugurated as the governor of the Cajun state of Louisiana becoming the first Indian-American to be elected to that position in the US. Desi uncle jumps for joy as “Indian boy” becomes famous in Amrika and offers 1000 coconuts to Lord Ganesha.

Tata picks up Jaguar and Land Rover in the US and releases the Nano, the world’s first $2500 car, in India. Tata auto dealerships in the US. Vary vary cheap in India. We approve.

Indian cricketer Harbhajan Singh accused of calling Aussie cricketer Andrew Symonds, a monkey. Bhajji gets suspended, India almost cancels Australia tour, Aussie media comes up with a picture of Symonds as Hanuman the monkey god.

February:
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, founder of he Transcedental Meditation movement and one time Beatles guru dies.

Jodha Akbar released in the US. Hindus protest historical inaccuracies and embellishments in a Bollywood movie. In other news, the sun rises in the east.

We @ Über Desi pull a Bal Thackeray and hate on Valentine Day.

March:
A desi doctor in Nevada is accused of the ultimate sin in recycling, reusing needles.

More desi students killed in random acts of violence across the US, leading the Indian media to question the safety of Indian students in the US. In seemingly unrelated news, Indians continue to be one of the largest population of foreign students in the US.

April: April turned out to be a happening month.

Primary season heats up in the US. Indian-Americans start throwing their easy gained weights (and their hard earned rupees) behind Presidential candidates Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain.

USCIS (formerly INS) announces it will decide the fate of the H1B applications of highly skilled techie workers in an uber high-tech way - with a lottery. Price of coconuts in temples across the US skyrockets. Their prayers are answered, somewhat, when USCIS announces a 17-month extension on the OPT system.

Indians are torn between boycotting the Olympics and participating. We @ Über Desi reflect the same sentiments but ultimately succumb to the lure of cheap Chinese goods at Walmart.

The controversy surrounding Mike Myers’ “The Love Guru” heats up. The media suddenly makes Rajan Zed leader of all Hindus in the US.

The Indian Premier League launches amid fanfare and much controversy in the form of cheerleaders from the Washington Redskins NFL team cheering for Vijay Mallya’s Bangalore Royal Challengers. Thackeray claims the cheerleaders seduce the audience. We only wish.

Infants are thrown off the roof in a bizarre ritual in Karnataka.

May:
Forbes anoints Mukesh Ambani’s $2 billion proposed gargantuan aesthetic and architectural nightmare as the world’s most expensive home.

Worldwide crisis strikes, in the form of food supply. Condoleeza Rice, Secretary of State of the land of all-you-can-eat-buffets accuses Indians of eating way too much, well, rice. India is offended and blames it on a phoren forces from Pakistan.

Kal Penn comes out with the second installment of the cult hit “Harold and Kumar…”.

Two desi javelin throwers win a reality show that features a million dollar baseball pitching contest earning them a trip to train with some baseball trainers in the US and maybe the chance to one day play on an MLB team. We love under dogs.

Indian farmers SMS their way 2 prosperity. LOL.

Myanmar, formerly Burma, gets destroyed by a cyclone.

The pink city, Jaipur, is rocked by terrorist bomb blasts. Sadly these attacks were just the start of a series of attacks to follow that would seriously undermine India in 2008. Finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high.

Über Desi finds themselves at a Twenty20 cricket tournament in the US and run into two villains in Indian folklore, disgraced former captain of India, Mohammad Azharuddin and Pakistani nemesis, Javed Miandad.

Kids of Indian origin dominate the Spelling Bee. Tired of beating others, South Asians announce a spelling bee for … South Asians.

June:
Dunkin Donuts withdraws a Rachael Ray ad because the scarf she was wearing resembles one worn by Palestine suicide bombers, per Michelle Malkin. In other news from around the block, Michelle Malkin resembles an ass.

M. Night Shyamlan’s “The Happening” is panned by critics but is a surprise hit at the box office. Shyamalan declares “He sees a hit, people” and announces future plans to make crappy suspense movies with surprise endings, which are not really a surprise.

Tasrem Singh’s “The Fall” releases to rave reviews and generates little interest.

Mike Myers’ “The Love Guru” releases amid much fanfare and controversy and is rejected by critics and movie goers alike. Rajan Zed attributes it to his magical powers.

Obama receives Hanuman lucky charm. Hillary receives Ganesh idol. Hanuman trumps Ganesh, Obama trumps Hillary and becomes the first non-white guy from a major political party to run for President of the US.

Hanuman is named chief of Ram Bharose … errr…. Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in Lucknow.

Kerals.com, an Indian portal steals content from an Indian blogger and proceeds to bully and cyber stalk the blogger. Desi blogosphere up in arms.

Bobby Jindal’s expertise in exorcism comes up. Über Desi offers Bobby the position of Paranormal Phenomenon Executive. Bobby declines. Says he’s happy as governor of Louisiana. Bobby also decides not to run for Vice President as John McCain’s running mate. A wise decision, in perspective.

Mickey Mouse hates on people wearing turbans and beards.

Chiman Rai, the father-in-law who hired an assassin to kill his daughter-in-law because she was black, is tried and indicted in court.

Two teenagers in the California school system face 30 years in life. Their crime? In true desi style, it’s related to computers - hacking.

The Indian media is fooled by reports of a WW2 Nazi getting arrested in Goa.

In most parts of the world, including India, prosperity is linked with a bulging waistline. A bulging waistline in the desi “shaadi” scene is a strict no-no. In fact most matrimonial ads probably have the word “slim” in the requirements section. Playing to the concept of niche markets, there is now a new desi matrimony portal called overweighshaadi.com. [Reuters]

This follows on the heels of other niche Indian matrimony websites that link divorcees and even those afflicted with HIV/AIDS. I think this a neat concept which allows for potential mates to be more honest to each other in terms of physical appearances, instead of tricking each other with airbrushed photos and layers of clothing, just to get married, only to be disappointed later. In fact, here’s a few more suggestions for niche websites which allow for more brutal honesty between potential mates:
DrinksLikeAFishShaadi.com
SmokesLikeAChimneyShaadi.com
Likes2PartyShaadi.com
WatchesPornShaadi.com
DatedBeforeShaadi.com

As news of initial polling results from the Bangladesh elections started to filter in, I contacted my Bangladeshi homey who I go to for his infinite knowledge on all things Bangladesh.

I wanted him to handicap the elections for me since with my limited knowledge of Bangladeshi politics, I can’t tell Khaleda Zia from Sheikh Hasina.

I believe his exact words were: “Both are useless”. He is right. [BBC handicaps the election]

There is very little difference between the two main protagonists, Khaleda Zia and Sheikh Hasina, in terms of the policies they plan on implementing. In fact, in the region of South Asia as a whole, aside from flashing the “V” sign there appears to be little demanded in terms of qualifications from political leaders.

So why did Sheikh Hasina win? [Reuters]

Sheikh Hasina did it the right way, she used her right hand to flash the “V” sign. On a more serious note, Sheikh Hasina’s Awami League party won because it was time for a change. The last elected government was formed by Khaleda Zia’s Bangladesh Nationalist Party. Yes, politics in South Asia can be explained in such simplistic terms.

Not sure how this makes it to a national news publication but apparently a family in Kolkata is experiencing other-worldly phenomenon in their house. [TOI]

And what do they do? They call the cops. Of course, the cops arrived late as usual and have done nothing more than providing “moral support” to the family. The ghost afflicted family has gotten this all wrong. Dealing with ghosts and other paranormal forces requires a special kind of expertise, one that is seldom found in law enforcement officials. The first thing these people need to do is contact His Holiness Grand Poobah Jahanpanah Dr. Mr. Shri. Lt. Col (Retd) Commander Selvam Annamalai Annamalai. For a small fee, payable by credit card, of course, His Holiness Grand Poobah Jahanpanah Dr. Mr. Shri. Lt. Col (Retd) Commander Selvam Annamalai Annamalai will send these folks sand extracted from the pit of a cobra, with the cobra still in it. This sand shall have the magical powers to banish the ghosts, unless of course the ghost is on drugs.

Mallya is no stranger to controversy, neither is Narain. But the media has successfully orchastrated a death match between the two.

So here is what went down.

A few days ago, when asked about “An Indian driver driving for an Indian team” statement that Mallaya had made early in his F1 career, Mallya decided to conclude that neither Narain Karthikeyan nor Karun Chandok fit the bill.

In my F1 context, [Karthikeyan] doesn’t fit in,[Chandhok] is like my son, but I have not broken the professional rules of Force India F1 and announced in respect of Karun only because of my personal relationship.

In 2009, we are going to launch a comprehensive programme of driver identification and where we see youngsters with talent, Force India is going to pay all the way through to international karting, single-seater racing, GP2 and on to Formula One. I don’t think [Indian Motorsport Federation] FMSCI should concentrate on creating an F1 driver. FMSCI should concentrate on broad basing motorsports in this country. [Making an] F1 driver is my job as Force India F1.

While Karun happens to be Mallya’s friend, we do not expect him to make a statement, but Narain decided to. And in the process spilled a few beans and I’m sure connected a few punches.

I spent a frustrating time with Jordan, where I had a car that just could not perform. I have no desire to be with another pedestrian team that’s low on performance and loud on talk, I never even approached Mallya. The vibes from the camp have been extremely negative and I want to make it clear that I am not interested in driving for Force India.

Spyker offered me a drive in August 2007. I declined as the team was going nowhere, Except in F1, where machine matters more than man, I have won races in every championship that I have participated in.

Asked for his response to Karthikeyan’s comments, Mallya said: “Everyone is welcome to their views.”

And to help prove that Mallya is still a rookie, a few F1 experts sounded off on the issue (HT has the entire article).

Emerson Fittipaldi was on Narain’s side, saying

I disagree with the statement. A non-grand prix driver cannot give an opinion as to a driver’s abilities. When Narain drove in F1, he did not have a competitive chassis or technical package. He’s capable of winning GPs in a good car.

And big Berie was supporting Karun

The time is getting closer for F1 to be in India, which is something I am really enthusiastic about, and hopefully Karun will be part of it. His place is in F1.

And Narain’s former team mate Tiago Monteiro, who has in the past not had the kindest words for Narain, chimed in, albeit in a different tone

F1 is all about the car you are given. Give Narain a race-winning car and he will win races I can guarantee you

Bruno Senna supported Karun and Peter Windsor, the Ex Williams Manager did not have the kindest words for Mallya.

It’s amusing when people who have made a lot of money come to F1 and make such ridiculous statements. It makes one wonder how they ever made that money! There is absolutely no question that Karun has the ability to do well. He is at least as good as Adrian Sutil (present Force India driver).

And the icing on the cake for Narain, James Roberts from F1 Racing magazine

Narain was abnormally brave in his ability to stay committed in high-speed corners in that Jordan car. Over one lap he may actually be even quicker than (Giancarlo) Fisichella (present Force India number one driver). Karun is a great talent. I am surprised at what Mallya has said.

So will all the pundits, including bloggers like me taking the side of Narain and Karun, I can tell you that as it stands the Score is Narain / Karun 1 - Mallya 0.

What do you guys think?

And I can’t wait for Mallya to make a statement regarding this.

We @ Über Desi have been conducting some extensive research on tying Father Christmas to India.

Exhibit 1: Santa located above Taj Mahal.

Exhibit 2: (published previously) Santa is from Jalandhar and it’s Ranjit, the red nosed reindeer, not Rudolph.

Exhibit 3: Indians bake world’s tallest cake to feed orphans at Christmas. [BBC]

Exhibit 4: Santa sand sculpture at the Puri (not Laguna) beach. [img: via TOI]

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all from the team @ Über Desi.

There is news (at this time, I would consider this pure speculation) that Mallya is one one the interested parties, along with a host of other big names, including Pro Drives Richard as possible buyers of the Honda F1 team.

For those who care to remember, Pro Drive wanted to start 2008 buying their chassis from Mercedes, but because of the Customer Car row, they decided to pull out.

Mallya might already be over committed with Force India, but now that he has almost given up control and “sold” the team to McLaren Mercedes, he might, along with Dave Richards make a bid for Honda F1. Let’s see how this plays out.

ESPN Outside the Lines aired an episode about the Million Dollar Arm contest, and the remarkable journey of Rinku & Dinesh that began in India and ended with both of them signing a contract with the Pirates. (tip Ash)

A recent issue of “Business Week” ran with the rather provocative headline “How risky is India?”. [Business Week]

India losing its lusture for investors?
img: via Business Week

Whenever a bomb blast or any kind of terrorist attacks occurs, the normal reaction of Indians and people of Indian origin the world over is that of shock. This shock is soon replaced by indignation - at the terrorist, at neighbor nations, at the politicians, at the bureaucracy, and anything and everything under the sun. Soon this is followed by another emotion called “moving on” where people shrug their shoulders in sheer helplessness and settle back into life. People in India flock to the theaters for their latest Bollywood or regional flicks [ET]. Here in US, we get together for potluck dinners. Point is, Indians in India and abroad move on. It comes naturally to us. However, being a part of a global economy, some of the scars and/or misgivings stay on with the people who have vested business interests in India. Things have appeared to come to a head with the recent 60 hour Mumbai attacks with the media and investors openly questioning the wisdom of investing in India.

And why not? India has hardly been the poster child of stability and safety in recent years.

India’s fragility is revealed by a pattern of diffused violence—a bomb here, a killing there—that goes unnoticed even in India. Most outsiders (and most investors) don’t realize how dangerous a place India can be. Since 1993, when 13 bomb blasts in one day killed 257 in Mumbai, just over 29,000 people have died in terrorist attacks, including insurgencies in Kashmir and the Northeast, according to a BusinessWeek analysis of data from the Home Affairs Ministry. Thousands more have died in anti-Muslim riots. At least another 4,500 have perished since 2002 in a Maoist rebellion that simmers, and sometimes boils over, in the mineral-rich region of Chattisgarh, where foreign companies plan to invest heavily.

India, of course, has a huge upside that attracts investors and has probably kept them from fleeing.

It’s quite a contrast to the strengths India has used to attract global capital. Engineers and programmers are first class. Skilled, dedicated workers toil for wages much lower than in the West. The nation’s blend of entrepreneurial spirit and democratic values has challenged the more rigid China model. A top-notch executive class boasts chief executives like Ratan Tata, chairman of the Tata Group and innovator in categories from autos to hotels.

Unfortunately, even foreign executive and workers are not immune to the violence in India. A few months back, we covered the story of the CEO of an Italian company near New Delhi, who was beated to death by an angry mob of laid off employees and the Union Labour Minister Oscar Fernandes made an official statement that basically amounted to blaming the actions of the dead executive [UD]. I’m sure that went down well with future investors in that part of the country. In the north eastern states, foreign executives are routinely kidnapped for ransom [DNA India].

There are literally two theories at play here, in tandem. The “broken window theory” which suggests that minor incidents of crime left unchecked will promote further incidents, needs no explanation, with the previous information presented. The second theory is probably the more relevant one in this context - the image of Brand India seems to have reached a “tipping point“, and not in a positive sense.

So what do our readers think? Is the Business Week article questioning India’s stability as an economic power justified or are they over reacting?

So I came across this headline in the New York Times that screamed “Moguls and Arab States Are Big Donors to Clinton Charity”. [NYT]

Mogul, not Mughal

Of course, through my desi-tinted classes I translated it as “Mughals and Arab States Are Big Donors to Clinton Charity”, raising visions of Bill Clinton visiting a Mughal durbar and the announcer going “ba adab ba mulahiza hoshiyar, Amrika ke rashtrapati janaab William Jefferson Clinton tashrif la rahe hai” (a bombastic way of saying President Bill Clinton is arriving), followed by an elaborate song and dance sequence by Anarkali.

After opening the story, at some stage it dawned on me that perhaps they were talking about the mogul not the mughal. Bummer.

Still, the link turned out not to be a total loss, since the name Clinton invokes plenty of desi connections.

For instance, did you know that Amar Singh, yes that Amar Singh, is a major contributor to the Clinton foundation?

The potential for foreign donors to the Clinton foundation to create the appearance of conflicts of interest for Mrs. Clinton as she handles foreign policy matters was illustrated by Amar Singh, listed as giving between $1 million and $5 million. Mr. Singh is apparently a prominent Indian politician of that same name.

Amar Singh, of course, claims to have used his connections to the Clintons to lobby for India’s nuclear deal, which could raise a potential conflict of interest with Hillary being Secretary of State in the Obama administration.

Mr. Singh met and posed for photographs with Mrs. Clinton, afterwards telling Indian reporters that Mrs. Clinton had assured him that Democrats would not block the deal. Congress approved the nuclear cooperation deal with India a few days later.

Other Indian connections mentioned as Clinton donors are steel magnate Laxmi Mittal and Tulsi R. Tanti of the Suzlon wind turbine empire.

Of course, this is in addition to tycoons like Bill Gates, other foreign businessmen, politicians and Arab sheiks and raises the question of potential conflicts of interest these connections could cause with the appointment of Hillary taking over the State Department.

Close on the heels of the media debacle of the 60 hour Mumbai attacks, India’s News Broadcasters Association, a conglomeration of India’s leading news agencies has come together to (hopefully) prevent a repeat performance in the future. [TOI]

The guidelines direct members of the media:

not to disclose details of hostages and withholding sensitive information on rescue operations

to avoid live contact with victims and with security personnel engaged in security operations

to exercise their judgment by not airing details of identity and number of hostages and refrain from reporting or commentary that gives the impression of sympathizing with terrorists

They should also include the following:
-to date their information and not report an incident from yesterday as “breaking news”
-not to report rumors
-not to steal news/pictures from blogs and other media and anoint it as an “exclusive”

Any more you can think of?

An employee of a multinational firm in Bangalore landed in police custody after he made comments supporting Muntazer al-Zaidi, the journalist who now (in??)famously tossed his shoes at George W. Bush. Apparently, colleagues complained about him making some controversial remarks and police allegedly found some paper cuttings of terror attacks and a letter pleading clemency for Afzal Guru. [TOI]

So what do our readers think? Given the circumstances presented, is this arrest warranted or is this just another example of blatant violation of free speech?

And while we’re at it, here’s something to entertain our readers. [Boing Boing]