“When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes”
Def Leppard certainly did not have Osama bin Laden being offed in mind, when they penned those lyrics but strangely, the lyrics of a sappy 80s hair-metal ballad fit the description of one of the most historically significant events of this young decade.

By now even the most ardent of the below-the-rock dwellers, know how Osama got his comeuppance from the elite US Navy Seal Team 6, one round above the left eye and one in the chest, in a harmonic rendition of the double tap. Random tip (100% free desi ishtyle): always use the double tap when dealing with zombies.

And while we’re at it, let’s call his assassination, ummmm, an assassination, not a killing, slaying or death. Not that it matters anyway, but there’s no shame in this assassination, the bastard deserved to die. I would’ve personally derived great pleasure in doing it myself and I’m not that violent of a person at all, but I digress. The other option would’ve been to capture him and hand him over to his buddies at the TSA as test dummy, but again I digress.

Now that everybody and their uncle has analyzed “the incident” and conspiracy theorists notwithstanding, it’s time for the questions to flow more freely than Osama’s brain matter on the floor of his million dollar mansion, a mere stone’s throw from what can only be described as Pakistan’s version of the West Point.

Questions abound:

Q. How the hell did they track him down?
A. Osama was fond of making tapes no one really wanted to see and sending them using a personal courier. Track the product, find the source. In software terms, we call it reverse engineering.

Q. How do we know that Bin Laden is dead?
A. The more important question is, will be pull a Tupac Shakur and continue acting and rapping long after his death. There is no convincing the non-believers, look at the moon landing conspiracy theorists for instance. So screw the non-believers and lets crack open an ice-cold desi tharra instead to celebrate this mosht wondrous occasion.

Q. Pics/video or it didn’t happen
A. This is one of Barack Obama’s shining moments as President of the US&A. Surely, you want him to wait till the elections for the multimedia ppt presentation of Osama’s death?

Q. Why did they bury him at sea?
A. Feeding it to the sharks as opposed to maggots? Good question. I guess at least the sharks have fricking lasers attached to their heads.

Q. Are we any safer?
A. This question was filed from the chronicles of the clueless and the naive. No, not really. But the revenge curry does taste yummy.

Q. Did the Pakistani army know Bin Laden was living in their midst?
Not that Osama being in Pakistan came as a big surprise, in fact far from it, it would’ve shocked me if he had turned up anywhere else. But to me the biggest, pardon my Hindi, WTF question stems from where he was found, as stated earlier, a mere stone’s throw from what can only be described as Pakistan’s version of the West Point. Did the Pakistani authorities not know he was living in a million dollar piece of property with high fences and barbed wires and killer Afghan hounds, to quote a cliche, right under their hirsute noses? As CIA Director Leon Panetta rightly asks “Involved or Incompetent”? On an unrelated note, the same people apparently handle nucular weapons.

Other random stuff:
-Can we have an elite Indian commando team gatecrash the Dawood Ibrahim compound in Pakistan? He’s another candidate full worthy of the double tap love.
-How cool is the story of Shoaib Athar, a Pakistani IT consultant, who accidentally live-tweeted the entire incident? **Insert shameless plug for the Über Desi Twitter feed**

Looks like you are one of our regular visitors. Here is our RSS feed, just another way to keep up with the new posts.

I finally got around to watching HBO’s documentary Terror in Mumbai, which originally aired in November 2009.

Narrated by Fareed Zakaria, whose mother and sister apparently still live in Mumbai, this documentary was pieced together from almost intercepted cell phone conversations between the terrorists and their handlers and security camera footage from the target locations on one side and the victims, eyewitnesses and Indian authorities on the other. The documentary starts off with eyewitness accounts describing the landing of the terrorists and their initial assault on the Leopold cafe, an attack which left 11 dead and dozens wounded. Then unfolds the carnage at the railway station (CST) led by Ajmal Kasab, where they plow into unsuspecting commuters. This attack is the beginning of what would be a complete breakdown in law enforcement in Mumbai. The police constables on the scene, armed with lathis (batons) and World War II-era bolt action rifles are no match for the AK-47s and either flee the scene or get mowed down by the terrorists, some of it caught on security footage. At one point, a hapless constable throws a chair in the general vicinity of the gunmen, to no avail.

Meanwhile, previously planted bombs in taxis, which by now traveled across the town, explode, adding to mayhem. The sheer number of attacks, lack of training, lack of information and communication among authorities and widespread rumors, give the impression of a city-wide terrorist attack.

Grasping at thin air, the authorities start scanning cell phone frequencies including ones belonging to SIM cards Indian intelligence has placed among LeT operatives and discover 3 of them still operating. It’s these intercepted cell phone conversations that form the basis of this documentary. The conversations occur among the terrorists and their handler, one “Brother Wasi” through an Internet phone numbers bought from a company in NJ.

As the carnage at CST winds down, the gunmen enter the Trident Oberoi and Taj hotels and start killing unsuspecting patrons at the behest of “Brother Wasi”, the carnage is captured in the cell phone conversations and the network of security cameras at these two locations. “Brother Wasi” can be heard goading them on to lob grenades indiscriminately and start fires. Meanwhile, the gunmen, hailing from small villages in Pakistan are taken aback at the opulence of the Taj and can be heard hesitating but ultimately relent. One of the iconic moments of the Mumbai attacks, that of the Taj burning (pictured below), was a well calculated move to garner international attention for the LeT, as revealed by the intercepted phone conversations. When this particular image was telecast on the international news channels, the handler is besides himself with joy and showers compliments on the gunmen.

From that point the carnage continues, among guests trapped in these 5 star hotels and on the streets. In one of the eyewitness accounts, a high ranking police official admits to being afraid that the gunmen would attack the police headquarters. Another eyewitness recalls the harrowing ordeal of having to give birth to her baby with the gunmen roaming the halls of The Cama & Albless Hospital.

All the while the footage is interspersed with the confession given by Ajmal Kasab from his hospital bed. Kasab’s tale of recruitment is an eye-opening insight into how easy it is to recruit terrorists in rural Pakistan. By his own accounts, Ajmal admits to being sold to the local LeT recruiter by his own father for a couple of hundred thousand rupees, who then brainwash him into a jihadist.

After shooting up the hospital, Ajmal and his fellow gunman commandeer a vehicle by killing its occupants, among them team members of the Mumbai Anti-Terrorist Squad led by Police chief Hemant Karkare. The eyewitness account is given by a constable who was wounded but survived by hiding among his dead colleagues, Ultimately Ajmal and fellow gunman Khan run into a roadblock, captured on security camera, which ends in Ajmal being captured.

Meanwhile, two gunmen take over the Nariman house. “Killing a jew is worth more than killing 50 hotel guests” the controller is heard urging the gunmen. After killing the rabbi and his wife, the gunmen take hostages and then are instructed by the controller to leverage them to secure Ajmal’s release. Meanwhile, the slain couple’s surviving child is rescued by the nanny. As the confrontation progresses, the controller goes from encouraging the gunmen to preparing them for their “martyrdom”. Meanwhile, back at the Oberoi, as the final gunman prepares for his final confrontation with security forces, the controller tells him to leave the phone on and we can hear the bullets and explosions as the security forces successfully take out this gunman. In a similar manner, back at the Nariman house, the controller has the gunmen execute the hostages over a live phone connection. The tired gunmen waffle for a while and then comply before they are cut down by security forces. The gunmen at the Taj meet a similar end.

Huffington Post had an interesting excerpt on filmmaker Dan Reed, who made this documentary: [HuffPo]

Filmmaker Dan Reed has covered similar ground before — his 2003 film Terror in Moscow looked at the hostage situation in a Russian theatre and the subsequent botched rescue by Russian authorities. However, with the Mumbai attacks Reed has an incredible arsenal of footage and recordings at his disposal — including hours of phone calls made between the young men committing the attacks and their older leaders, including spokesman “Brother Wasi”, in Pakistan.

Dan Reed also has an extensive interview on the HBO website, where he talks about the relationships he had to cultivate to obtain the security tapes and taped phone conversations. Reed goes on to draw parallels between this incident and 9/11 and laments the subsequent weak protests against the abject failure of law and order during the attacks.

“Terror in Mumbai”’s view into the events of those fateful days is quite unique and a far cry from the “chicken with head cut off” approach by the Indian media and “we don’t know our elbow from our kundis when it comes to India” approach by the western media. Definitely worth a dekko.

Suroosh Alvi, founder of Vice Magazine and VBS.TV, ventures into an area which recently earned the moniker of the “world’s most dangerous area” – the Waziristan tribal area of Pakistan. Pulling some strings, he manages to find a political agent/guide and sets off to visit the world’s largest illegal arms market. Would it be disingenuous to question if there’s a relation between the world’s largest illegal arms market being the world’s most dangerous area? [VBS.TV via CNN]

The market is believed to have its humble origins in the Afghan-Soviet war for which the region served as dumping ground for used arms and ammunition. From ammunition being sold on the roadside like vegetables to a store selling kalashnikov, mausers and ….. grenade launchers, Alvi and his crew embark on a foreboding and somewhat depressing, but yet fascinating trip of the world’s largest illegal arms market.

Some of the highlights to watch out for: the blurb on Pakistan’s quasi cultural renaissance boosted by uncensored television channels in stark contrast to the Taliban takeover of the nation, Naeem Afridi the political agent/guide and his jovial uncle like demeanor, the journey through the rugged and historically immortal Khyber Pass and the wares in display at the gun market.

On the third day of the second test match between Sri Lanka and Pakistan in Lahore, the Sri Lankan team bus was attacked by masked gunmen numbering nearly a dozen. The players escaped with about five of them sustaining minor non-critical injuries. Five security personnel however were killed in the gun battle. Cricinfo link.

Speaking from Sri Lanka, Sanath Jayasuriya said that it was an “extremely unfortunate incident. “We’ve never had this kind of problem,” Jayasuriya told CNN-IBN. “They are all safe, that’s the good news I got when I spoke to Kumar. I don’t they they’ll stay back and play. I think they will come back as soon as possible. Depends on the injuries.”

The Sri Lankan team had stepped in after the Indian government had barred the Indian team from touring Pakistan after the terror attack in Mumbai.

A couple of weeks ago, ICC Chief Haroon Lorgat had directed the World cup organizing committee to monitor the security situation in Pakistan for hosting the world cup in early months of 2011(link), the venue of the attack today, is the scheduled venue for hosting one of the semi-final matches in the world cup.

Today’s attack seems to be a co-ordinated  attack by trained gunmen and news results are still pouring in about terrorists being battled in the city of Lahore, no word of any casualty on the terrorists’ side has yet been reported. News reports also indicate that the Sri Lankan team has been called back to Sri Lanka immediately.

Update:

CNN-IBN reports:

The attackers – who came in a white car – lobbed two grenades at the bus carrying the players.

The gunmen, reportedly surrounded the team van and opened fire indiscriminately. They reportedly continuously fired for two to three minutes.

The attackers then started firing at a police van which was providing security to the Lankan team.

Officials said rocket launchers were used in the attack as well.

In other news from the chronicles of the obvious, the sun rises in the east. After beating around the bush, under the pretext of not finding his name in a database, “unidentified” Pakistani officials have admitted Mohammed Ajmal Kasab, is a Pakistani. [Yahoo Reuters]

Not that it matters. Reuters has also listed a bunch of scenarios that could transpire between Indian and Pakistan with regards to Lashkar-e-Taiba and most of them end in lose-lose situation for either nation. [Yahoo Reuters]

PAKISTAN INVESTIGATES FULLY, DISMANTLES LASHKAR’S OPERATION

Satisfy India, but the Pakistani government risks ticking off the military setting the stage for a possible military takeover and an openly hostile government next door to India.

PAKISTAN MOUNTS A TRIAL BUT LEAVES LASHKAR INTACT

A.k.a Maintain status quo. LeT is held back but operates under a pseudonym. Garbage by any other name still stinks.

PAKISTAN TAKES NO ACTION, OR THERE IS ANOTHER ATTACK

At this stage looks like the most likely scenario. India would be forced to retaliate strengthening the hand of the military and extremists setting the stage for even more attacks in the future.

Heads I win, tails you lose.