I appreciate many things about life in the USA. Amongst these are great sanitation and wedding registries. I am one of those crackpots who cannot use the “facilities” unless they are up to par.(Remember George Costanza’s trip to India on Seinfeld? He simply didn’t go).

Wishing the couple a happy married life and plenty of bowel movements

I can (and do) hold it in on road trips, groaning in agony, till my long- suffering partner finds a rest stop that meets with my exacting standards.This has been much easier in the USA (where the restrooms are usually clean and plentiful ) than in India, where road trips require careful planning so that one is not stuck in the boondocks with nature calling and no hope of a decent loo for miles.

As for wedding registries , what a genius idea ! It takes all the pain of of gift-giving and one is at least assured of giving the happy couple something that they need and will use. It has the simplicity of Marxism with none of the drawbacks: from each according to his ability and to each according to his needs. I deeply regret that registries were not in back in the des before I got married many years ago. Aforementioned partner and self were the unhappy recipients of (amongst other,better gifts) : Twelve (12) Eagle thermos flasks, one aluminum statue of a semi-naked woman holding a torch (!), plastic coasters, three plastic casseroles, unusable antimacassars etc.

So this story out of India and my hometown Pune struck a chord with me:

Savitri Mane…has decided to give her niece the most ‘precious’ gift of all — a portable toilet.Katraj-resident Savitri’s niece Raksha is marrying a youth from Bhor this week. When Raksha’s parents noticed that the groom’s house does not have a toilet, they decided to gift the bride one. (link)

This is part of a new trend.The days of the sturdy Bajaj scooter and Hawkins Pressure cooker- de rigeur at one point of time- are over. The hot new wedding gift for girls marrying into rural families is the portable toilet.

“Girls these days refuse to accept a groom whose house does not have a toilet. Even low-income families in city have toilets. But, even some rich families in villages feel that a toilet is unnecessary,” said Ramesh Sonawane, who has gifted his daughter one. These toilets cost between Rs 7,000 and Rs 12,000, depending on the quality.These toilets come with readymade RCC walls and a sceptic (sic) tank which could be carried easily. While the tank is ideally placed by digging a hole, it takes hardly two hours to fix the walls.

All humor aside, this strikes me as a much better wedding present than jewelry or clothes. One is reasonably sure that it will be used daily and it makes the new bride’s adjustment to her new life so much easier.

What do you think? Good idea or worst wedding present ever?

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