Over the weekend I had the misfortune to watch Goal or as the title is supposed to be “Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal”, directed by Vivek Agnihotri.That mish-mash of a title itself should have warned me. There is a particular pain to watching a bad Hindi film – I cannot describe it exactly but it is a mixture of sorrow, disappointment, and anger at having wasted close to 3 hours on an essentially unfulfilling experience.
The story of the movie itself is rife with possibility. A struggling South Asian ‘football’ (i.e. soccer) team- the Southhall Club- in England needs to win the Championship against all odds in order to save their football field from being turned into a mall and multiplex. Sports movies usually have a peculiar charm of their own – the recent “Chak De” is a great example of how a good director can make the viewer actually feel invested in the future of the protagonists. Alas, Goal falls far short of the mark.
Arshad Warsi plays Shaan -the Pakistani team captain. The rest of the team is made up of assorted South Asians including a Sikh , a Bangladeshi and an Indian Muslim. With the help of a washed-up ex -player Tony Singh( played by Boman Irani) , the team of course – in good sports film tradition – triumphs against all odds.
Spoilers after the jump and I suggest that you read them.
Points to Ponder:
- In a movie that is ostensibly about racism faced by South Asians, why is it okay for the South Asians living in England (one assumes out of choice!) to refer to the English pejoratively as “goras”? That is as offensive as the n-word and used throughout the movie
-Why are all white people depicted as racists and villains ?
From the uptight (white)councilwoman to the (white)members of the opposing Aston team – everyone is shown be cartoonishly villainous and has absolutely no redeeming qualities
- Why should South Asian identity trump one’s identity as a British national? John Abraham plays Sunny Bhasin – a hapless star striker- who is constantly berated for not standing by “his people”.The only genuine moment in the movie for me was when Sunny very sensibly tells his father that having been born and brought up in England, as a British national, he feels no special kinship with the Southhall club.
The movie has a very strong anti -assimilation message that I found totally unpalatable.
- Why is a fine actor like Boman Irani overacting throughout the movie? It is kind of sad to watch him ham his way through his scenes, not helped any by the awkward dialoges he is forced to spout. Watch out for his supposedly inspiring speech to the team when he takes them to see the Manchester United Club’s football field. Its not inspiring so much as unintelligible.Somewhere, Beckham is reeling in pain!
- What is Bipasha Basu doing in the movie? She plays Romona- Shaan’s sister and a freshly minted doctor who is appointed as the team doctor. Her idea of providing medical treatment consists of a cringe-inducing flirtation with Sunny in the locker room and thereafter periodically flinging herself at him on the field when he suffers various injuries.
- And finally – I am all for men crying occasionally but honestly, I have never seen a more lachrymose set than this team. They are constantly weeping – with joy, sorrow,pain, pride leading me to believe they are not so much in touch with their feminine sides as immersed in them.
This one Goal that misses its mark.
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