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Aishwarya disowns former husband, husband responds

By: Santosh :+: Under: Culture, Desi Ishtyle, Entertainment, It Happens Only in India, Opinion, Politics, Religion, Sarcasm
On: ⋅ June 20, 2007 ⋅  Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment
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News Flash: Aishwarya disowns her husband, her tree husband that is.

As far as misunderstandings are concerned it is really unfortunate that too many assumptions were made, there were many false rumours and lose talk. Perhaps we will feel the need to clarify some things some time. For instance, I’m married to Abhishek, not to a tree.

Tree and Aishwarya:
no longer a couple

We @ UberDesi just intercepted this email sent to Aishwarya by her estranged husband:

From - peepal.tree@benares.temple.hindu.in
To - aishwarya.bachchan@bollywood.co.in
Cc - aishwarya.rai@bollywood.co.in
Subject - Re: Your press conference quotes
Message -

Namaskar,

Hope this email finds you in good health on this fine day in the month of Jyaistha, Saka era 1928–1929, Kali Yuga. I read your quote while browsing through TOI Online this morning. From your words, I gather you basically want to deny our union in sacred matrimony that happened in Saka era 1927–1928, Kali Yuga. You, Aishwarya, are merely my highest profile wife …….. ever, and I want you to read this before we go our seperate ways.

Are you pissed off at me for forgetting our wedding anniversary? I apologize for forgetting our wedding anniversary but I have a valid reason. I have to undergo an obscenely large number of unions in holy matrimony. You see there are a lot of manglik girls and for some weird reason they insist on tying the knot with me before they do so with their human husbands. Not that I mind. I’ve been around a long time and am open minded enough to share my wives with others.

Take thyself, for instance. You married me, then you married my cousin - the banana tree in Bangalore, then you married the god’s idol in Ayodhya. I never uttered a word in protest. Then you married that human person, that Bachchan boy, who did not even shave for your union in holy matrimony. I saw pictures on the Internet. I never uttered a word in protest even then. In fact, I was even happy for you.

But then you decide to take things public and disown our union in holy matrimony and that, Aishwarya, hurts me. If you want to break up at least have the guts to inform me in person that you’re no longer interested in continuing this relationship.

Some wise man (was it Bryan Adams??) once said:
If you love someone,
Set her free…
If she comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, she never was…

I’ll take that advice to heart and set you free, o fair damsel. I’ll end with the classic break-up line:
“It’s not you, it’s tree” (pun intended).

Your evergreen (again, pun intended),
Peepal Tree
Hindu Temple,
Benares, India.

p.s. I’ve want to send you a friend request on Orkut. There are so many profiles on Orkut with your picture. Which one should I send it to? Maybe we can remain friends and stay in touch.

p.s. Global warming and paper factories notwithstanding, if things don’t work out between you and that Bachchan boy, you know where to find me

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