Ramachandra Guha performs a colonoscopy of sorts on the close-minded, anti-intellectual, cliche-riddled, demagoguery that passes for the ideology of the Hindu extremist outfit, the RSS. [Telegraph] (via @pragmatic_d on Twitter)

It’s a fascinating read with real-life accounts from former RSS-ers and includes some hilarious points, for instance, what was the RSS’s stand during the Quit India movement?

However, the portion that stood out to me most:

“Hindus have lived in India since time immemorial; Hindus are the nation because all culture, civilization and life is contributed by them alone; non-Hindus are invaders or guests and cannot be treated as equal unless they adopt Hindu traditions, culture etc…; the history of India is the history of the struggle of the Hindus for protection and preservation of their religion and culture against the onslaught of these aliens; the threat continues because the power is in the hands of those who do not believe in this nation as a Hindu Nation; those who talk of national unity as the unity of all those who live in this country are motivated by the selfish desire of cornering minority votes and are therefore traitors; the unity and consolidation of the Hindus is the dire need of the hour because the Hindu people are surrounded on all sides by enemies; the Hindus must develop the capacity for massive retaliation and offence is the best defence; lack of unity is the root cause of all the troubles of the Hindus and the Sangh is born with the divine mission to bring about that unity.”

Replace “Hindus” with “White Christians”, “India” with “USA” and “non-Hindus” with “immigrants”,”Muslims” or “any other minority group” in the above paragraph and you have the template of a conservative talk show host in the US. Fascinating, huh?

We get tired of repeating the proven adage “India is a land of paradox”. Case in point [BBC]

Health officials in the Indian state of Rajasthan are launching a new campaign in an effort to reduce the high population growth in the area. They are encouraging men and women to volunteer for sterilisation, and in return are offering a car and other prizes for those who come forward.

Of course, the prizes are also in keeping with our “cost-conscious” nature”

Among the rewards on offer is the Indian-made Tata Nano – the world’s cheapest car.

While not along the lines of Sanjay Gandhi’s alleged forced sterilization program, there is still something Orwellian about the government bribing people to make changes to their reproductive organs, however well-intentioned it might be.

And why is this paradoxical? While Rajasthan is bribing people to sterilize themselves, across the country, our good ole’ friends the Khasi tribe were paying couples Rs. 1000 per child to produce more children.

Warning: If talk of non-traditional Indian foods, offends you, please take your outrage to Twitter

Nothing says Main Street America like strip malls and chain restaurants (see: Applebees, Chilis, Subway, Burger King, McDonalds and so on. During my pre-FOB days (mid to late 90s), McDonalds was the new “in thing” in India. Heck, one of my farewell parties was at the Mickey D’s on Linking Road in Bandra, Mumbai.My next brush with American chain restaurants in Mumbai was in ‘06, a Subway and a *bleeping* Ruby Tuesday in Mumbai. Apparently, this was just the beginning of a trend. [WaPo]

The picture (left top) was taken during my October 2010 trip to India, and if you click on it, it opens up in a larger image that shows the menu pricing in Indian Rupees. Have fun converting.

NEW DELHI – A group of hungry college students crowded around the newest food stall in an upscale market here: the American Hotdog Factory. Its sign proudly announced, “real American hotdogs for the first time in India.” But these “hawdawgs” – the Indian pronunciation – aren’t exactly what they would find on the streets of New York or at ballpark concession stands across America. Where’s the beef? The only concession here is to Indian tastes. Cows are considered holy by many Hindus, India’s majority religion. So the top-selling item at this stand is the “American Desi,” a mushy, green log of spicy potatoes, soy beans, peas, garlic, chillies and onions held together by a fat hot-dog bun and topped with raw onions and thick mayo chutney.

My first reaction is to drool, masala bhaji in a hoy dog bun with mayo chutney, brilliant! Like I mentioned earlier, if non-traditional desi food is not your thing, outrage on Twitter.

So, what other American chain restaurants have crossed over to the good side and what else is on their menu?

Subway’s six-inch Veg Shammi, a kebab made of lentils, garlic and onion.
Cinnabon, offers an eggless Indian sticky bun,
Starbucks said its offerings would include many local and American treats, such as samosas next to muffins and spicy chai alongside skinny cappuccino.

But not all restaurants have switched their menus to exclusive Indian versions, TGI Friday’s, for instance.

“They have to buy into the culture before they will buy the food,” Rohan Jetley, vice president for marketing for TGI Friday’s, said from a plush booth at his flagship restaurant. The room was filled with decorative Americana: a bust of Elvis, a “Charlie’s Angels” movie poster, a surfboard, a disco ball and a statue of a U.S. astronaut.
Jetley’s insistence on keeping the food authentically American has made him a maverick in India. He even flies in official tasters from the TGI Friday’s Dallas headquarters to make sure its signature Jack Daniel’s barbecue sauce tastes the same in Bangalore as it does in Baltimore.

So next time you’re in India and, for some weird reason, have the yearning for American food, try TGI Friday’s.

This is not intended to be a review.

*spoiler alert* Some points give away the story line of the movie.

Peepli Live is a slap fest. It’s a slap across the face, for today’s politicians, the government, it’s babus, their yojanas, and above all, the MEDIA and us, it’s viewers.

Live television has long crossed the boundaries of absurdity. An year ago, the CM of Andhra Pradesh (YS Rajashekar Reddy) passed away in a chopper crash, and the media created a mass hysteria among people and portrayed several hundred ‘shock deaths’ – death of many average souls, who died of shock when they heard the news. For a major part of the week, including the night of the disappearance of the chopper, the news channels went wild, especially the one owned by the CM’s son (and apparently the heir to the CM post in the next few years), broadcast images of people weeping inconsolably for a CM they most probably never saw in flesh and blood ever in their life. His popularity exaggerated and magnified a million fold, and gaining maximum political mileage out of a personal tragedy.

That is a tiny example of our mis-information age, and Peepli Live makes a satire of it. Farmer deaths is something we hear about everyday, (right after cricket, dynasty politics, Pakistan, world, Chinese made gadgets and 10 tips to improve our sex lives). The characters in the movie are in abject poverty, and their cuss words may make you laugh, or cringe, but they are pretty unfiltered.

In the first few minutes you hear a pair of newsreaders relaying the news about Shilpa Shetty, denying the rumor of an affair with Prince William. You thought that was exaggeration? Over an hour into the movie, a TV presenter is shown examining the poop of a person they are unable to get hold of, for a millionth interview.

Budhia, a simpleton who is talked into giving a statement about committing suicide, as he is about to lose his ancestral piece of land, is now on the run because the media had made a circus out of his life, and his tiny little home in an unknown rural town of Peepli. His half hearted suicide talk has become a national sensation, and everybody in an official position in the country, and the media, have a vested interest in his death.

The stress of this turn of events has given him a diarrhea, but the media won’t allow him to attend his ablutions in peace. If this doesn’t tell you something, then good. The real world media has done its job well. We have been desensitized, the level at which we can be shocked is so high up, that nothing trivial like suicides because of poverty, bother us anymore. We couldn’t do much about it anyway.

While the suspense of Budhia’s life or death is gripping the nation, Mahato is out digging a ditch to make money by selling the soil, and ironically, his weak body gives away and he dies in the very ditch he is digging. Nobody give’s a sh*t because they are busy analyzing Budhia’s sh*t.

The outcome of Budhia’s life doesn’t really matter anymore, there’s a wonderful 3 min scene about what ‘yojanas’ can help him. There’s one for widows, disabled and the destitute. But the only one Budhia qualifies for is either ‘Lal Bahadur’(a hand pump) or the 1 lakh compensation that his wife gets if he dies.
Again, a wonderful satire on how our national leaders have been idolized under different schemes (mostly for political purposes). There’s wonderful characterization of IAS level/Block development officers, who say nothing but, ‘yes sir’ to the minister. The educated secretary of Agriculture, who won’t do anything except wait for a court order, and the high rung politicians, for who, everything is just a political game. To get into power, and remain in power. Absolutely no other objective.

Peepli live is uncomfortably funny, has no songs, has exceptionally talented actors, is produced by Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao, and is a very simple and straight story that was born out of frustration with things that are wrong in India today including the media, which has long lost its original purpose of information, and fast moved into the world of entertainment. LIVE entertainment. And Peepli Live is a wonderful window that captures this in less than 2 hrs.

Random YouTube video day – I was astonished to see an acrobatic video about an ancient Indian sport on YouTube. Mallakhamb (Malla=Man + Khamb=Pole) (and yes, I do get the juvenile humor in the name).

The earliest mention of Mallkhamb can be traced back to the 12th Century where it is mentioned in the classic “MANASOLHAS” (1135 A.D.).For about seven centuries after that, the art form remained dormant until it was given a new lease of life by BALAMBHATTADADA DEODHAR, the renowned teacher of PESHWA BAJIRAO-II during the first half of the 19th century. Link

The historical origins aside, the feats performed by these young men are quite impressive in nature. I was surprised to not ever have heard about this, or seen this before.The sport is essentially acrobat type stunts on a wooden pole that is 2.6 Meter in height, and 55 cm circumference at the bottom gradually converging to a 35 cm at the top (wiki). The wooden pole and the body of the acrobat are both smeared with castor oil to prevent any damage caused by friction.

And how can there be a good Indian sport without a good Indian story behind it? (Once upon a time…)

Here is the video of what looks like a championship event:

And what looks like a documentary on the basic steps and training involved-

Some reports online also indicate that this could have been the inspiration for pole dancing in the western world, but hard to find a credible source, for it to be taken seriously as a possible fact. But it would be interesting to have a show like a Cirque Du Soleil segment with great production values for this sport. It would be a treat to watch something this skillful combined with the aesthetic values brought in by Cirque.

More information, about the sport, current status today and the types of Mallakhamb can be found here.