Über Desi » Humor

Goodbye to the world of men ?

Runa — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 00:52:11 +0000

The Times of India has done it again. Having long abandoned any pretense of journalistic integrity, here is the latest rubbish from our favorite go – to desi paper.

Under the cringe inducing headline “ Study links lesbianism to career” , the TOI quotes a dubious study from un-named NGOs in Chandigarh that : ( I am not making this shit up – this is a direct quote!)

A study by two NGOs to understand the nature of lesbian behaviour in the city has found that most women take to this alternative sexuality while staying in hostels of educational institutions or working at call centres and marketing companies

Apart from personal choice, the reasons for these women’s (sic) turning lesbian were found to be an abusive childhood or being widowed or divorced.

There is zero mention of genetic predisposition and makes the whole issue of homosexuality sound like a lifestyle choice as opposed to a congenital orientation.

This sounds like it was dictated by the far right – defense of marriage act types in the US …

Anyways, I matched their “checklist” against my personal history and:

- Stayed at hostel of educational institution : Check

- Working at call centers or marketing companies : Check

- Abusive childhood : No

- Widowed or Divorced : No

Does this mean there is a 50 % chance I am going to play for the other team ? But, but …I love Bruce Willis ..so that can’t be true? Can it ? Can it?

Who writes this crap?

Gratuitous nudity

Runa — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 20:25:43 +0000

Just because I am fed up with being the resident anti – sexist, anti – objectification blogger, I present in all his glory our very own Bobby Jindal. This is part of a truly tasteless Vanity Fair “Red Meat” calendar featuring GOP men in various,photoshopped states of undress. On a serious note: I completely disapprove of this. Imagine if they had tried this with GOP women,I would have been the first to cry “Foul”!

Source : vanity fair

Happy Independ….. err…. Manoj Kumar day

Santosh — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 04:38:10 +0000

On the occasion of India’s 63rd Independence day, there’s a lot of mindless flag waving and jingoistic chest thumping going around. Not one to be outdone we join in with our own top secret weapon, Mr. Bharat.

Long before Manoj Shyamalan, one Mr. Manoj Kumar had the market cornered on directing and appearing in his own movies, the difference being Kumar often played the lead roles. Think M. Night playing the role of Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense, however Kumar was so humble he often tried to appear inconspicuous by covering his face with the palm of his hand. Like Manoj Shyamalan, who cornered the surprise ending niche, Manoj Kumar had the over-the-top patriotism genre well covered. Below is how Manoj Kumar and his nationalistic movies changed the face of Bollywood, while keeping his own face covered.

Long before Aamir Khan and co made India a safer place by assassinating scumbag politicians, Manoj Kumar teamed up with Prem Chopra to lay down his life for the country, the last time Chopra would contribute in a positive manner on-screen.

Kumar went on to play the consummate 1960s Indian socialist hero, farmer and soldier, two for the price on one – desi ishtyle – in a single movie. Schools in India still reverberate with this movie’s songs on the occasion on Independence Day, a fitting tribute to not only Mr. Bharat, but also the lack of creativity in the Indian education system.

The next video is an inspiration for the prototypical Indian uncle in the US. Manoj Kumar in Purab aur Paschim, showed us how the West “spoils” Indian women, by encouraging them to get bad hair dye jobs and *gasp* even drink and smoke. Even the hippies in the video agree with Kumar on that count.

They say wine gets better with age, so did Manoj Kumar’s definition of patriotism. In the following video, Manoj Kumar blows away whatever your definition of patriotism might be, by comparing his patriotism to spicy peanuts.

Manoj Kumar reached the pinnacle of his trade with the most profound and patriotic movie of all time, “Clerk“. Previously, it would be that heroes had to sacrifice limb and life to appear patriotic. However, with “Clerk“, Manoj Kumar did the opposite. He harnessed patriotism to cure heart attacks. We leave you to your lame lame flag waving with this dazzling moment in patriotism.

Facebook dances its way into Indian hearts

Santosh — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 17:50:09 +0000

Recent anecdotal evidence, namely the sudden arrival of friends and relatives living in India on Facebook, suggests that Facebook has suddenly mushroomed in India, slowly overtaking Orkut as the social network of choice. There are some hard statistical numbers to back that claim, WATBlog as early as 2009 had shed light on this trend. Meanwhile back here in the US, the homeland of Facebook and Orkut, people are grasping at straws to explain how Facebook has nearly half of India’s population. Maybe it’s related to the fact that a small percentage of Indians and Brazilians are now on Facebook?

So the question become how did upcoming Goliath Facebook conquer reigning Goliath Orkut (Google)? Was it the “Like” button? Was it Facebook’s clean UI compared to Orkut? Was it Facebook’s ability to integrate with Twitter and other platforms?

Earlier this year, Tunku Varadarajan authored an insightful article in the Daily Beast “Why India Loves Facebook”. Sree Srinivasan sums up the article with this hilarious (but true) quote:

“They take to it naturally and with great passion. It allows them to do two things they love: Tell everyone what they are doing; and stick their noses into other people’s business.”

Further investigation reveals that Facebook’s popularity in India is related to all of the above and then this: [Pluggd.in via @amreekandesi]

Indian movies, Bollywood movies in particular, are notorious for this creative solution to most issues in this world, song and dance. Naturally when Zuck (Mark Zuckerberg, CEO Facebook) visited India this year he got to use this “formula” to symbolize a. Facebook’s triumph over Google (Orkut) and b. Facebook dancing its way into Indian Internet users’ hearts.

Providing a venue for gupshup, breaking out into impromptu dance, the Facebookwalas sure know how to get the attention of the Indians.

Sergey Brin, are you listening?

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Bonus photo of Zuck in India. Zuck goes all out on the India angle with an elephant in the background and a street kid (get it? Slumdog Millionaire) on his side. (pic via DigitalBlog.India)

Get in line ….. for 12-28 years …. or not

Santosh — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 13:17:29 +0000

Reason.com has this hilarious (not so much for the legal immigrants) flowchart on the various ways legal migration to the United States works, or does not. [Reason.com] (ht: @Patrix on Twitter)

Unless you happen to be a US citizen’s spouse or child, in which case it takes a minimum of 6 years,
- If you’re a Dirk Nowitzki, Yao Ming or David Beckham, get in line for 6-7 years to become a US citizen
- For spouses and children of lawful residents: 11 to 13 years
- For skilled H1B workers it takes anywhere from 11 to 16 years to become a citizen
- Unskilled workers have no visible methods of becoming a US citizen

Bottom line: Instead of bringing in highly motivated skilled and unskilled workers and allowing them to integrate into the mainstream, the current immigration system either encourages them to follow the route of illegal immigration or keeps them out of the country (reverse brain-drain) or marginalizes the ones already in the country by treating them as second class citizens for the better part of two decades.