Lal Bahadur.  Source: Peeplilivethefilm.com

This is not intended to be a review.

*spoiler alert* Some points give away the story line of the movie.

Peepli Live is a slap fest. It’s a slap across the face, for today’s politicians, the government, it’s babus, their yojanas, and above all, the MEDIA and us, it’s viewers.

Live television has long crossed the boundaries of absurdity. An year ago, the CM of Andhra Pradesh (YS Rajashekar Reddy) passed away in a chopper crash, and the media created a mass hysteria among people and portrayed several hundred ‘shock deaths’ – death of many average souls, who died of shock when they heard the news. For a major part of the week, including the night of the disappearance of the chopper, the news channels went wild, especially the one owned by the CM’s son (and apparently the heir to the CM post in the next few years), broadcast images of people weeping inconsolably for a CM they most probably never saw in flesh and blood ever in their life. His popularity exaggerated and magnified a million fold, and gaining maximum political mileage out of a personal tragedy.

That is a tiny example of our mis-information age, and Peepli Live makes a satire of it. Farmer deaths is something we hear about everyday, (right after cricket, dynasty politics, Pakistan, world, Chinese made gadgets and 10 tips to improve our sex lives). The characters in the movie are in abject poverty, and their cuss words may make you laugh, or cringe, but they are pretty unfiltered.

In the first few minutes you hear a pair of newsreaders relaying the news about Shilpa Shetty, denying the rumor of an affair with Prince William. You thought that was exaggeration? Over an hour into the movie, a TV presenter is shown examining the poop of a person they are unable to get hold of, for a millionth interview.

Budhia, a simpleton who is talked into giving a statement about committing suicide, as he is about to lose his ancestral piece of land, is now on the run because the media had made a circus out of his life, and his tiny little home in an unknown rural town of Peepli. His half hearted suicide talk has become a national sensation, and everybody in an official position in the country, and the media, have a vested interest in his death.

The stress of this turn of events has given him a diarrhea, but the media won’t allow him to attend his ablutions in peace. If this doesn’t tell you something, then good. The real world media has done its job well. We have been desensitized, the level at which we can be shocked is so high up, that nothing trivial like suicides because of poverty, bother us anymore. We couldn’t do much about it anyway.

While the suspense of Budhia’s life or death is gripping the nation, Mahato is out digging a ditch to make money by selling the soil, and ironically, his weak body gives away and he dies in the very ditch he is digging. Nobody give’s a sh*t because they are busy analyzing Budhia’s sh*t.

The outcome of Budhia’s life doesn’t really matter anymore, there’s a wonderful 3 min scene about what ‘yojanas’ can help him. There’s one for widows, disabled and the destitute. But the only one Budhia qualifies for is either ‘Lal Bahadur’(a hand pump) or the 1 lakh compensation that his wife gets if he dies.
Again, a wonderful satire on how our national leaders have been idolized under different schemes (mostly for political purposes). There’s wonderful characterization of IAS level/Block development officers, who say nothing but, ‘yes sir’ to the minister. The educated secretary of Agriculture, who won’t do anything except wait for a court order, and the high rung politicians, for who, everything is just a political game. To get into power, and remain in power. Absolutely no other objective.

Peepli live is uncomfortably funny, has no songs, has exceptionally talented actors, is produced by Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao, and is a very simple and straight story that was born out of frustration with things that are wrong in India today including the media, which has long lost its original purpose of information, and fast moved into the world of entertainment. LIVE entertainment. And Peepli Live is a wonderful window that captures this in less than 2 hrs.

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Long before Manoj Shyamalan, one Mr. Manoj Kumar had the market cornered on directing and appearing in his own movies, the difference being Kumar often played the lead roles. Think M. Night playing the role of Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense, however Kumar was so humble he often tried to appear inconspicuous by covering his face with the palm of his hand. Like Manoj Shyamalan, who cornered the surprise ending niche, Manoj Kumar had the over-the-top patriotism genre well covered. Below is how Manoj Kumar and his nationalistic movies changed the face of Bollywood, while keeping his own face covered.

Long before Aamir Khan and co made India a safer place by assassinating scumbag politicians, Manoj Kumar teamed up with Prem Chopra to lay down his life for the country, the last time Chopra would contribute in a positive manner on-screen.

Kumar went on to play the consummate 1960s Indian socialist hero, farmer and soldier, two for the price on one – desi ishtyle – in a single movie. Schools in India still reverberate with this movie’s songs on the occasion on Independence Day, a fitting tribute to not only Mr. Bharat, but also the lack of creativity in the Indian education system.

The next video is an inspiration for the prototypical Indian uncle in the US. Manoj Kumar in Purab aur Paschim, showed us how the West “spoils” Indian women, by encouraging them to get bad hair dye jobs and *gasp* even drink and smoke. Even the hippies in the video agree with Kumar on that count.

They say wine gets better with age, so did Manoj Kumar’s definition of patriotism. In the following video, Manoj Kumar blows away whatever your definition of patriotism might be, by comparing his patriotism to spicy peanuts.

Manoj Kumar reached the pinnacle of his trade with the most profound and patriotic movie of all time, “Clerk“. Previously, it would be that heroes had to sacrifice limb and life to appear patriotic. However, with “Clerk“, Manoj Kumar did the opposite. He harnessed patriotism to cure heart attacks. We leave you to your lame lame flag waving with this dazzling moment in patriotism.

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I want the near-to-3 hours of my life spent watching Raavan back. I never thought I would ever use “ham-fisted direction” and “Mani Ratnam” in the same sentence. But there you go. The premise is interesting. A retelling of the “Ramayana” to show both sides of the story. The titular “Raavan” in the film is Beera – a sad combination of Veerappan and a Naxalite, played atrociously by Abhishek Bachchan. Jr. Bachchan starts off with an imitation Amitabh – in – Agneepath – growl that inexplicably disappears in the latter part of the film – along with all semblance of plot, logic and common sense. Abhi grimaces, twitches and makes a complete ass of himself. Amitabh he is not – never was and never will be. In what was thought of as a casting coup, Aishwarya Rai (of the Shrimati Aishwarya Bacchcan Kanya Mahavidyalaya fame) – his real -life wife – plays Ragini – the wife of police officer Dev ( Get it ? Dev = God = Ram) Sharma ( played by a blank look aka Vikram). Beera abducts Ragini thereby setting the stage for a retelling of the Ramayana epic. Aishwarya starts out strong and her acting ( presumably impacted by Abhi’s lack of acting) gets progressively weaker. The twist in the tale is that Beera has good and justifiable reasons for wanting revenge against the police. Ragini develops a serious case of Stockholm syndrome. Dev rescues her and then questions her fidelity. The movie ends with Ragini’s deeply held beliefs being questioned. In other words what appeared bad maybe good, what appears good maybe bad. Which is fortune cookie philosophy at its best.

( ASIDE DESIGNED TO BRING A HINDUTVA FATWA ON MY HEAD: What is godly about questioning one’s wife’s fidelity at the drop of a hat? How can Ram be “Maryada Purshottam”( Ideal man) if he abandons his pregnant wife ? And does no one see the inherent misogyny of the basis of Sita’s abduction?That she dared to cross an imaginary line drawn by an in -law? But that is probably fodder for another post!)

I cannot in good faith believe THE Mani Ratnam directed this nonsense. I have a sneaky feeling that one of his directorial assistants must have taken over and Ratnam -ji must have franchised his name ( a la McDonalds). The camera angles are atrocious and MTV-video like (in the days when MTV actually showed Music videos as opposed to crappy reality dating shows). Govinda is completely wasted in a cameo appearance as Sanjeevani (aka Hanuman), an alcoholic forest guard who practices some kind of parkour.

Ragini’s and Beera’s relationship is never properly developed. He acts all caveman and Tarzan-ish, winging from vines. She is happy playing Jane- looking remarkably put together despite being in a jungle,where Beera’s hideout is. Why on earth she feels any sympathy for him is unclear. The ONLY redeeming feature of this movie is the locations. The jungles of Kerala and Tamil Nadu are glorious, lush and damp. The movie is only damp.

The music pretty much sucked. There are plot holes large enough for a truck to be driven through. For example: How is Ragini able to make her way back to Beera super secret hideout (after Dev questions her fidelity) when the entire Indian Police Force is unable to? And of course the original Ramaayan plot hole: If Sanjeevani could find Ragini, why did he not simply rescue her?

© Runa for Über Desi, 2010. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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p.s. Much thanks to my evil American alter-ego for providing the inspiration for this post. [Time]

I am in favor of tourism everywhere except in Engelberg, Switzerland. It appears a small church in my town was featured in a Bollywood movie called “The Brave Heart Will Take the Bride”. The mostly white rural town I left is now teeming with lovestruck Indian couples reenacting scenes from their favorite movie.

Vishal and Jagruti Purohit had traveled here from Mumbai, India, on their honeymoon, but they had a greater mission: to find the small village church that provided the backdrop for a scene in their favorite movie, a 1995 Bollywood blockbuster called “The Brave Heart Will Take the Bride.”

Heck, even though they are mostly Hindus, these Indians, who besides showing us how to reboot our computers, show up in our churches where some scenes of this DDLJ (Braveheart bride blah blah) movie were filmed. Why can’t they pray to their gods with multiple arms and an elephant nose and a dozen vowels at the end of their names?

In the scene, two young Indians, played by Mr. Purohit’s favorite actor and actress, see their love seeming to come to an end. She kneels and prays, while he cavorts in the dark, neo-Gothic church. In the end, she breaks off an engagement and he wins her hand.

My town is totally unfamiliar to me. The alpine slopes where I used to ski have been replaced by teems of Bollywood wannabes striking poses for their Patel snaps (why not Singh or Reddy or Iyer snaps, IDK).The Indian tourists, who come mostly in summer, has doubled in the last decade. I suspect they come in summer because Indian people can’t ski.

“In June, the Zurich newspaper Tages-Anzeiger featured an article with the headline Into the Luxury Hotel with a Gas Cooker, noting that in some hotels an entire caste of guests is no longer desired: the Indians. The article catalogued the complaints of hotel managers: guests who cook curry dishes on camping stoves in their rooms; guests who use bath oils that blacken tubs; guests who book for a husband and wife, only to show up with the entire family.”

I never knew how a bunch of people half a world away chose a random town in Switzerland to visit. Must be the lure of their crappy Bollywood movies

“shot on location in this country’s high Alpine meadows, around its serene lakes, and in its charming towns and cities to convey an ideal of sunshine, happiness and tranquillity”.

First came one of their most overrated and successful directors, Raj Kapoor, to film his movie called Sangam. He was followed by an equally overrated and successful director, Yash Chopra, who apparently while losing his virginity on his honeymoon promised his wife

“that every movie he made would have to have one romantic song or scene in Switzerland”.

Ever since, every time he makes a movie, he gets a do-over on losing his virginity by interjecting

“dream scenes in which lovers dance or romp on Alpine meadows strewn with flowers or roll in the snow in unlikely flimsy Indian garb on wintry slopes”.

in his movies.

Then came their not-so-bright Bollywood cousins and the Indian tourists and we started to understand why India is full of slumdogs.

That’s it for this article. The “Braveheart will take the Bride” movie reminds me that the local cable channel is running a Mel Gibson marathon and I’ve to brush up on my bigotry.

Über Desi responds: We sincerely regret that any of our readers were upset by this humor column of Joel Swine’s. It was intended to cause offense and since it worked we suggest you Indian people resort to Gandhigiri and send us flowers.

Joel Swine responds: I truly feel stomach-sick that I hurt so many people. I’m a no-talent assclown and even the presence of “clown” in my title in not indicative of the lack of humor in my writing works. I have a penchant for penning rambling articles that are likely to offend many, regardless of comedic effort, so I would like to offer my lame apologies.

© Santosh for Über Desi, 2010. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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Anupam Kher and Neha Dhupia are to play Adolf Hitler and his mistress Eva Braun in a new Bollywood film set in the last days of the Third Reich.
According to reports, the curiously titled Dear Friend Hitler will center on the relationships between the Nazi dictator and those who were close to him, including Braun, his long-term lover who he married in his final days in the Berlin bunker.

Love story in a bunker? “Bunker mein boom boom” would’ve been a more appropriate title.

Anupam Kher who has also played Gandhi on the screen, will perhaps be known as the only man to play both the world’s biggest proponent of non-violence and one of the worst mass murderers of all time. There is another Gandhi angle to this movie. [Letters of Note] [via SM]

September 1st, 1939: Poland is invaded by Germany, resulting in what many believe to be the beginning of World War II. Just over a month before this happens, Mahatma Gandhi writes the first of two letters to Adolf Hitler in an attempt to prevent the oncoming war. This particular letter never reaches Hitler due to an intervention by the government.

Various politicians and celebrities in India often cite Hitler as a role model. Mein Kampf sells as a management book.
We even have Hitler themed coffee houses. Indians don’t hate Jews either. This movie, more than anything, underlines the lack of holocaust awareness even among the educated masses of India, something we’ve lamented about in this blog and I blame the antiquated Science-Math centered education system.

What steps, if any, can we, the Indian-American community community take to grow Holocaust awareness among people in the des?

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So how can Bollywood be good for your booty/kundi/posterior? By working out with this DVD, says Hemalayaa Behl, the chief protagonist of this DVD, whose sports an easy on the eyes posterior on the cover of the DVD herself (am I allowed to say that on here?).

Among other things this DVD promises:
- 4 booty burning dance workouts, the average number of dance and song sequences in a Bollywood movie
- Lift and firm your backside, tumkaas and jatkaas can do that.
- Burn fat and calories, should come in handy after all those Indian restaurant buffets and desi parties
- Laugh, smile and enjoy, like you are the lead in a Sooraj Barjatya movie

Have any of you ladies (or even gents) used this or any of the other Bollywood workout DVDs or classes to stay fit? We would like to hear from you.

© Santosh for Über Desi, 2010. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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The clip below is an animated version of the SRK melodramatic cheesefest from the 90s that either captivated or scarred for life, an entire generation of Bollywood fans. Count me in the latter group, I still feel like poking my eardrums and/or gouging my eyes out when I come across a clip from this movie. Now it appears Karan Johar, the ambiguously straight, not that there’s anything wrong with that, director of the first installment, now turned writer, has trained his sights on the next generation of budding Bollywood fans with an animated version of the original movie.

Come, slap your collective foreheads.

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This post is a kind of 3 in one : a review of a book, a movie and random musings from me.

I just finished reading Orhan Pahmuk’s “The Museum of Innocence”.Pahmuk, the 2006 Nobel Prize winner has written a magnificent, wordy, illuminating and infuriating novel. The  book tells the tale of Kemal a rich young businessman from Istanbul and of his obsessive and destructive love for the beautiful (but poor and hence off-limits)  young Fusun. His obsession leads him to a passionate affair with her while he is still engaged to the Sorbonne-educated and more suitable Sibel. Ultimately, Kemal’s obsession leads him to create a museum dedicated to Fusun- hence the title. A couple of things struck me while reading the novel. The first : there is so much similarity between the society of Istanbul in the 70s and that of upper middle class India that I experienced in the 80s. Pahmuk is known for delving into the dichotomy of Turkey as an Islamic and as a European society and the inherent conflicts that arise between the demands of conservatism and the pull of openness. In this story too, Kemal, his fiance Sibel and Fusun as well as Kemal’s set of rich,Westernized friends constantly undergo turmoil as they struggle to fit into the mores of traditional Turkish society while trying to taste freedom sexual and otherwise. There is a lot of lipservice and hypocrisy which definitely reminded me of India!  The second  thing that resonated: while I loved the book and admire Pahmuk’s prose, it was very difficult to feel empathy for the “hero” Kemal. His behavior through the book reminded me of another hero – one I have always actively disliked – the pathetic, wimpy, tragic  Sarat Chandra  Chattopadhyaya creation – Devdas.

Coincidentally, just last week I finally watched the latest spin on Devdas, the Abhay Deol starrer “DevD”. This movie caused quite a buzz with its re-imagining of the Devdas tale in modern times. DevD is a semi – watchable , noirish film about – who else?- DevD a spoilt , self- indulgent rich kid unable to come to terms with his love for Paro. Like every other Devdas before him, he drowns his sorrows in drinks and drugs. What can I say? Whether it is Abhay Deol, Dilip Kumar or Sharukh Khan ( in Snajay Leela Bhansali’s ornate “Devdas” starring Aishwarya Rai), I am unable to muster any empathy for the title character. His motivations are unclear to me. His behavior is immature, wimpy and ultimately his destruction is self -wrought. My impatience with the Devdas character is his inability to act rationally. I just do not get what is so fascinating about self indulgence and self pity. Why does the tragic male lover , a Devdas like character keep reappearing in various interpretations? Pahmuk’s book is just the latest in a long string of movies and books about such tragic heroes.

Coming back to the reviews: By all means read “The Museum of Innocence”. Ialso recommend watching “DevD”- its flawed but has its moments. ( The high point for me was a song whose lyrics go ” Touba tera jalwa/Touba tera pyaar/Yeh Emotional/Atyachar!”- I kid you not!)

I am pretty sure I am missing out on some deeper symbolism here . I welcome any input from our readers – anyone out there like or understand Devdas? Please educate me!

© Runa for Über Desi, 2010. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
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This is a Karan Johar movie and yet it seems to be Karan Johar all grown up. No group dances, Manish Malhotra costumes and very little glamor. I’ll say this : though the movie is too long, it still manages to be watchable and interesting through out. The movie’s protagonist is superbly played by Sharukh Khan . He plays a man with an autistic  disorder, on a mission to convince the President of USA that his name is Khan and he is not a terrorist. For once, SRK does not overact but turns in a very muted performance. This is the first time I have seen SRK change his body language to fit into a role – no manic jumping or dancing. MNIK also marks the reunion of the Kaajol and SRK on screen pair. Kaajol is as always alternately bubbly and serious. She is a fine actor and I hope she keeps coming back on to the big screen. Well played cameos by Tanay Chheda ( as a young Khan), Jimmy Shergil ( so cute!) and Zarina Wahab round up the Indian cast , ably supported by American actors.

My problem with the movie is that it never really decided what it wants to be- a message on religious tolerance, a study of the disabled ( or “differently abled” to be PC!) , a blaxplotation movie or a road movie. It ends up being a little bit of each of these. Karan Johar seems to have scanned the headlines for US news since 2000 and put in a little bit of everything hence the “ripped from the headlines” title of this review. However, he does not do a bad job and the movie actually makes you think about  what the Muslim community in the USA has faced since 9/11- which means is does achieve its purpose. This  movie that is almost wholly set in America. Yet, one can make out that Johar’s target audience is Indians in India because the America he shows seems dated in its attitudes. Yes, I know that there was real anti -Muslim sentiment after 9/11. But egregious discrimination  in the San Francisco Bay Area? I think not! The weakest part of the movie is KJ’s depiction of a Katrina – like disaster set in rural Georgia. His African – American characters are so stereotyped that they make for some cringe inducing moments.  But in true KJ style, the beauty of San Francisco is exploited to the fullest. What KJ did for New York in “Kal ho na ho” he does to San Francisco in MNIK – makes an already beautiful city look even more beautiful. Also only in a KJ movie will desis all over the US including FBI employees, television personalities and students -  unite to help the protagonist ( in Real life: I can’t get desis in my neighborhood to do anything for me !)

Overall , I ‘d rate this one a strong B. On a personal note, I made up my mind to see this movie the moment the Shiv Sena in Mumbai called for its ban.( Long story short: The Sena has taken on SRK because he made the innocuous and legitimate statement that the IPL should include Pakistani players.  Of course the Sena being the rabid , foaming in the mouth Hindutva espousing types they are  questioned SRK’s patriotism with lots of jingoistic and hateful speeches)   I will support *anything* that the Sena deems objectionable and urge you to do the same. In one of those delicious twists of fate ( also called a “kick in the nuts by fate”) , the ban failed miserably- MNIK is playing to full houses all over Maharashtra and the Government has finally taken some action and arrested  a bunch of Sena-ites who I hope rot in jail for a long, long time! I think its delicious and well deserved that a movie that espouses  tolerance towards Muslims has succeeded against the Sena’s vile hate spewing machinery.

Go and watch MNIK  if you like the idea of watching something thought provoking and entertaining at the same time.

© Runa for Über Desi, 2010. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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