So Gwyneth Paltrow – she of Oscar and pulchritude fame got a lot of flak lately for a website that she created called goop.com ( Tagline: “Nourish the inner aspect”). Her intentions were good ( remember what they say about the road to hell?) , she just wanted to share tips to make our miserable lives better. I can fully understand why people were not exactly – er -enthusiastic about it. Lets see: Gwyneth Paltrow:
-Hollywood princess
- Oscar winner
- Looks like a goddess
- Married to a rockstar
Then there is me:
- Bollywood fan
- Oscar Meyer eater
- *No comment*
- Married.
So instead of living up to the unrealistic expectations of Ms.Paltrow’s website ( Sample fashion tip: “Pair a mini dress by Chanel with boots by Gucci”; Sample menu for Valentine’s day :”Steamed oysters, Cornish game hens”), I present a humble post for the rest of us mere mortals – my tips for faking it for slacker desi housekeepers.
Dinner suggestions
1. Impress your friends with “homemade” channa bhatura. Buy tinned garbanzo beans. Fry ginger, add chopped onions, fry till pink- brown, add tomatoes ( pureed in the blender), fry till oil separates, dunk in garbanzo beans, add some store bought channa masala, salt, stir occasionally till cooked. Buy pizza dough ( available in deli freezer section of any supermarket), knead, dust with maida, deep fry – voila – channe and bhature!
2. Buy Kentucky Fried Chicken’s crispy chicken nuggets. Serve atop your favorite store bought salad greens, garnished with microwaved frozen corn kernels and bottled ranch dressing. Makes a great salad and takes about 7 minutes to put together
3. For quick and easy “Shahi Paneer”, cut pieces of store bought paneer into cubes. Marinate for around 1/2 hour in Pathaks’ Ginger and Garlic Paste (available in any desi store- this marinade is designed for chicken but works wonders with paneer). Heat oil, add jeera (cumin seeds). Open up a can of tomato puree, add to jeera. Boil. Add salt ,chilli powder. Add paneer.Cook. Serve. Optional: To make it even tastier (and more calorific), add cream or curds to the gravy before serving.
4. Make rice in the microwave or cooker. Splutter some mustard seeds and curry leaves in oil. Add chopped onions and fry. Add cut tomatoes and fry well. Add salt, chilli powder and sambhar masala ( store bought). Stir well. Add to rice and mix well to get smashing tomato rice!
5.Cancel plans for cooking and eat out at nearest desi restaurant!
Depending on the response to this column, I may be back with more!
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