January:
On January 14th 2008, Bobby Jindal was inaugurated as the governor of the Cajun state of Louisiana becoming the first Indian-American to be elected to that position in the US. Desi uncle jumps for joy as “Indian boy” becomes famous in Amrika and offers 1000 coconuts to Lord Ganesha.
Tata picks up Jaguar and Land Rover in the US and releases the Nano, the world’s first $2500 car, in India. Tata auto dealerships in the US. Vary vary cheap in India. We approve.
Indian cricketer Harbhajan Singh accused of calling Aussie cricketer Andrew Symonds, a monkey. Bhajji gets suspended, India almost cancels Australia tour, Aussie media comes up with a picture of Symonds as Hanuman the monkey god.
February:
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, founder of he Transcedental Meditation movement and one time Beatles guru dies.
Jodha Akbar released in the US. Hindus protest historical inaccuracies and embellishments in a Bollywood movie. In other news, the sun rises in the east.
We @ Über Desi pull a Bal Thackeray and hate on Valentine Day.
March:
A desi doctor in Nevada is accused of the ultimate sin in recycling, reusing needles.
More desi students killed in random acts of violence across the US, leading the Indian media to question the safety of Indian students in the US. In seemingly unrelated news, Indians continue to be one of the largest population of foreign students in the US.
April: April turned out to be a happening month.
Primary season heats up in the US. Indian-Americans start throwing their easy gained weights (and their hard earned rupees) behind Presidential candidates Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain.
USCIS (formerly INS) announces it will decide the fate of the H1B applications of highly skilled techie workers in an uber high-tech way – with a lottery. Price of coconuts in temples across the US skyrockets. Their prayers are answered, somewhat, when USCIS announces a 17-month extension on the OPT system.
Indians are torn between boycotting the Olympics and participating. We @ Über Desi reflect the same sentiments but ultimately succumb to the lure of cheap Chinese goods at Walmart.
The controversy surrounding Mike Myers’ “The Love Guru” heats up. The media suddenly makes Rajan Zed leader of all Hindus in the US.
The Indian Premier League launches amid fanfare and much controversy in the form of cheerleaders from the Washington Redskins NFL team cheering for Vijay Mallya’s Bangalore Royal Challengers. Thackeray claims the cheerleaders seduce the audience. We only wish.
Infants are thrown off the roof in a bizarre ritual in Karnataka.
May:
Forbes anoints Mukesh Ambani’s $2 billion proposed gargantuan aesthetic and architectural nightmare as the world’s most expensive home.
Worldwide crisis strikes, in the form of food supply. Condoleeza Rice, Secretary of State of the land of all-you-can-eat-buffets accuses Indians of eating way too much, well, rice. India is offended and blames it on a phoren forces from Pakistan.
Kal Penn comes out with the second installment of the cult hit “Harold and Kumar…”.
Two desi javelin throwers win a reality show that features a million dollar baseball pitching contest earning them a trip to train with some baseball trainers in the US and maybe the chance to one day play on an MLB team. We love under dogs.
Indian farmers SMS their way 2 prosperity. LOL.
Myanmar, formerly Burma, gets destroyed by a cyclone.
The pink city, Jaipur, is rocked by terrorist bomb blasts. Sadly these attacks were just the start of a series of attacks to follow that would seriously undermine India in 2008. Finger pointing among government officials at an all-time high.
Über Desi finds themselves at a Twenty20 cricket tournament in the US and run into two villains in Indian folklore, disgraced former captain of India, Mohammad Azharuddin and Pakistani nemesis, Javed Miandad.
Kids of Indian origin dominate the Spelling Bee. Tired of beating others, South Asians announce a spelling bee for … South Asians.
June:
Dunkin Donuts withdraws a Rachael Ray ad because the scarf she was wearing resembles one worn by Palestine suicide bombers, per Michelle Malkin. In other news from around the block, Michelle Malkin resembles an ass.
M. Night Shyamlan’s “The Happening” is panned by critics but is a surprise hit at the box office. Shyamalan declares “He sees a hit, people” and announces future plans to make crappy suspense movies with surprise endings, which are not really a surprise.
Tasrem Singh’s “The Fall” releases to rave reviews and generates little interest.
Mike Myers’ “The Love Guru” releases amid much fanfare and controversy and is rejected by critics and movie goers alike. Rajan Zed attributes it to his magical powers.
Obama receives Hanuman lucky charm. Hillary receives Ganesh idol. Hanuman trumps Ganesh, Obama trumps Hillary and becomes the first non-white guy from a major political party to run for President of the US.
Hanuman is named chief of Ram Bharose … errr…. Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in Lucknow.
Kerals.com, an Indian portal steals content from an Indian blogger and proceeds to bully and cyber stalk the blogger. Desi blogosphere up in arms.
Bobby Jindal’s expertise in exorcism comes up. Über Desi offers Bobby the position of Paranormal Phenomenon Executive. Bobby declines. Says he’s happy as governor of Louisiana. Bobby also decides not to run for Vice President as John McCain’s running mate. A wise decision, in perspective.
Mickey Mouse hates on people wearing turbans and beards.
Chiman Rai, the father-in-law who hired an assassin to kill his daughter-in-law because she was black, is tried and indicted in court.
Two teenagers in the California school system face 30 years in life. Their crime? In true desi style, it’s related to computers – hacking.
The Indian media is fooled by reports of a WW2 Nazi getting arrested in Goa.
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