Über Desi

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When life hands you kelas….

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Q. How to cure a constipated thief?
A. Feed him 50 kelas (Hindi for bananas). Of course, if that doesn’t work feed him something else.

B-a-n-a-n-a-sAt least that is the prescription (tip Karthik via Uber Masala a.k.a del.icio.us) our friendly neighbourhood mamus (Hindi slang for cops) in Calcutta followed. When mamus in Calcutta confronted jewel thief, Sheikh Mohsin, he swallowed the necklace he stole. After x-raying him to confirm their suspicions – have to wonder about the human rights aspect of that – on the advice of the doctor, the mamus fed him not a half dozen or a dozen but 50 bananas!!!

We desis know about the medicinal properties of bananas as a laxative. But again you have to wonder about the human rights aspect of forcing someone to eat 50 bananas. Luckily for Mohsin his digestive system was stronger than 90% of desis for whom one banana in the morning is enough to complete the job. Having failed to evoke any rumbings, the cops fed Mohsin a regular diet of rice, chicken and bread. That did the job.

Here’s what sucks for the culprit.

A sweeper was paid to retrieve the exhibit from the toilet. Mr Mohsin was asked to wash it.

As Mr. Mohsin was washing his precious loot, he heard Gwen Stefani in the background.

This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This shit is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

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  • Shlok,
    The Gwen Stefani song was the first thing that came to my twisted mind when I read the ending of that story.

    Girish,
    Banana republic full of macacas. Now that is funny!
  • Girish
    How about just regular laxative pills??Does the Police have somekinda understanding with the Banana Vendor...Our Country gives a whole new meaning to Banana Republic
  • shlok
    aaah ha ha ha! that last gwen stefani comment is totally cracking me up!
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