Conceptual design for a Bollywood Theme park. Image courtesy: Saturn Projects.

So if you plan to go to India and are sadly stranded in Mumbai, what would you do? It’s the stuff a tourist’s nightmares are made of – I mean here’s a place that can only boast of a few dozen famous places and a vibrant night life. What can a soul can do for fun in this place? Fear not!! Your prayers are going to be answered in 2008. To increase tourism, the powers to be have decided to tap into what Desi’s worship next to Cricket. Bollywood. (no offense to the vibrant South Indian Film Industry)

As recently announced, Percept Holdings is going to put up the first Bollywood themed entertainment park. Costing about $100 mil, the park is going to have museums, Bollywood rides, sets, shoot visits and simulator experiences and Bollywood cafe.

Given the latest frenzy over a mere wedding, I can safely say that the theme park will be a hit. I mean ask any kid today, he or she is likely to quote all the lines from a latest AB/SRK/”who ever rules the biz” now but will be hard pressed to tell which Indian Physicist won the Nobel Prize. In the same vein, why would a tourist visiting Mumbai want to stroll down the Juhu Beach or take pictures of Gateway of India or just watch the every busy crowd moving around near VT, when they can catch a glimpse of AB or SRK’s sprawling home and may be *gasp* catch a glimpse of the stars!!

As film critic Mayank Shekhar rightly points out,
“When people visit the city, they want to see film stars and where they live, all this is a major attraction in Mumbai,” he said.
“The house of superstar Amitabh Bachchan, or the massive sea-facing bungalow where Shah Rukh Khan stays are important landmarks in their own right after the Gateway of India!
“What else is there to see here anyway?”

Of course now that we are sure this is the next best thing to happen to Mumbai, what kind of rides would you end up seeing there?

The first few things that popped into my head when I read the news were -
The “Ramayan/Mahabharat” set complete with the actors (Gawd knows they are not doing anything else ) – on similar lines to the Disney theme park with Mickey and Goofey, meeting with the guests. This will cover the 55+ crowd who really does not like “Aaj kal ke forward movies”(the rather ‘fast’ movies of today)

The Ekta Kapoor Casting show - try your luck for the next “The Ideal Hindustani Nari” serial. If your hair is short, you will be casted as the vamp. If you are slender, long -haired, fair and beautiful please go to the right lane, where you will be casted as the soft, gentle, ever suffering bahu. (*Ps. If you meet those criteria, I have a friend who would like to meet you.*)

The Sooraj Bharjatiya’s House of Horrors – where every family is happy, sings and dances at the drop of the hat. No unhappiness ever enters this place.

Then there will be the “Dance simulator” – where you can pick any locale and have at least 100 people who mimic your dance movies. How ever, you should be able to provocative thrust your Hips and perform mind boggling gyrations, before you can step in here.

The South Indian version of mind boggling gyrations.

For the older fans, Jitender’s “only clad in white” dance will be available. You are requested to find a heavy Sridevi yourself.

The museum (I hope) will contain all the videos of Mithunda’s films – a must for any fan. Also contained will be the jacket AB wore when singing “Sara Zamana” with lights blazing.

Sara Zamana – Amitabh in his aforementioned jacket.

Also on exhibit will Anil Kapoor’s tips to groom body hair and Karishma Kapoor’s makeover will be documented, scene by scene – from her “Prem Qaidi unibrow” to her “Dil to pagal hai svelte figure” and SRK’s tips on how to ham. Govinda’s entire wardrobe will also be on display.

There is going to be visits to the happy home of AB and family. Since AB Jr. and Ash are planning to do Newlyweds, a la “Nick and Jessica ishtyle“, live telecast of the entire season one will be provided.

What rides do you think will end up there??

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